Funmurphys: the Blog

The Oscars

I watched the Oscars last night with the Other Fearless Leader. I offer my non-realtime thoughts.

For such a small industry, actors sure have a lot of award shows. What are they compensating for?

When did they all get so old? Bill Murray looks like he's about 70 now. And Jim Carrey - old and amazingly big eared.

Susan Sarandon, did you use double sided tape or glue? I'm just curious, totally non-purient.

Too bad ABC doesn't have the same policy as Clear Channel - I thought I was watching E! when Owen Wilson asked that gal if her's were real. Instead of a goofy grin, I wish she'd replied "As real as your talent, Owen."

The best part was right at the start - Michael Moore squished by a Mumakil. It was all downhill from there.

All that money for the event, and they couldn't get the sound mix right - the orchestra too loud, Billy Crystal too soft. And that was about the only fun, let alone funny part of the whole show.

For a bunch of egalitarians, they sure do have a pecking order. Why was Uma Thurman up front? Why was Peter Jackon way on the side in the back - his movie only won 11 stinking awards. And those people who win all the boring awards - they were so far back they cut to graphics so you had something to watch while they made the hike down to the stage. At least I didn't have to see Jack Nicholson sprawled out in the front row.