Funmurphys: the Blog

More Politics From the Second-Graders

In my city, negative advertising from the political campaigns is percolating down to the children.

Isabel has a little friend Paulina from down the street, who goes to a different school. Yesterday morning we heard that most of her friends would like to vote for John Kerry. Why? "Paulina says that George Bush is going to put everybody on fire."

Um - are you sure she didn't say "set everybody on fire?" "No - George Bush is going to put everybody on fire." I thought I was well-informed, but I had never heard of this development!

This claim was a little easier to refute than last week's claim. "Honey, do you know that George Bush has been president for four years?" "Yes, Dada." "Well, if George Bush really wanted to put everybody on fire, he probably would have done it already. So I don't think the story is correct."

I'll admit that my logic was not air-tight. President Bush knows that putting everybody on fire would most likely encounter some political resistance. Maybe he's waiting until his second term to implement this dastardly plan, when he's not facing re-election. Yeah, that's it.

I still can't figure out what led to this claim. Did some parent say that Bush the war-monger is going to leave the world in flames? Is he going to make everybody mad? Is he going to "light the fire" of some evangelistic crusade? Your guess is as good as mine.

Talk about conspiracy theories! You heard it here first.