Funmurphys: the Blog

Parenting Tip

There comes a time when your children get older and your old standby control methods don't work. Does a time out work on anyone past the age of ten? You might be inclined to panic, but let me tell you the technique I'm about to describe has far more effect on adolescents than any technique used at an earlier age. And it has the added bonus effect that it is even more effective in public, thus restoring the balance of power lost when your little darling figured out that they could push your buttons and you coudn't do anything about it without disapproving stares, leaving the store, or worse, a reference to child welfare. And the best part is, you'll actually enjoy discipline again!

So what is this technique? PDA, or as you'll soon discover, the threat of it. Yes, tell your adolescent if they keep that offensive behavior up, they are going to get a hug from mommy or daddy (don't forget, actually use the words mommy or daddy as the case may be just for the shock effect of the words), and for really bad behavior, a hug and a kiss. When in public, this has spectacular results. You will never have to give more than one hug, and that only in the case of the most hardened adolescent. An alternative is to threaten to loudly and publically call them by that pet name you have for them (if you don't have such a name, it's never to late to start one).

You may be thinking, how does this work in private? That's easy, just threaten to call all their friends and tell them how much you love them. In extreme cases, you may also be forced to threatened to send pictures of your little darling as a baby or small child -- I'm sure you have all kinds of pictures of them dressed up in extremely embarrassing clothes or doing extremely embarrassing things - a simple rule of thumb is the cuter you think the picture is, the more your child is embarrassed by it.

So for those of you parents at your wits end with how to keep control of bored kids during long shopping expeditions, remember that PDA is your friend. And it can even work for you parents (and I don't think you don't know who you are) who love to make empty threats over and over - at last here's a threat you might actually carry out! Good luck, and remember, one day they just might provide you with grandchildren, so don't alienate them now any more than you have to.