Funmurphys: the Blog

Department of Odd Coincidences

I'm reading Instapundit when I come across this story about a black bear attacking a boy in the Smokey Mountains:

The incident began about 7:30 p.m. when the boy, Evan Pala of Boca Raton, Fla., was playing in a creek about 300 yards from the trailhead of Rainbow Falls Trail, which is near the Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail, Miller said.

We didn't see hide nor scat of bear on our hike (thankfully), although when we got back to the van someone had written "Go Patriots!" in the dust of the back window. This really weirded out the Murphy women since somebody figured out what school the funDaughter goes to with just a PS sticker and Missouri plates to go by.

Anyway, here's a picture of the falls:

RAINBOW FALLS

Our hearts go out to the Pala family and we hope and pray they make a full recovery.

I'm A Mad Scientist - The Bulletin Says So

You may have noticed (and probably not cared) but I've been busy lately. Most recently I was asked to provide a science demonstration for the VBS wrap-up party at church (yes, we did Power Lab this year). I think it was because I was free. I mean, doesn't everyone have their own homebuilt trebuchet and hovercraft? I left my acetone behind which disappointed my son since we ran long (the kids loved the vortex generator) and didn't get to set anything on fire. He was forced to use denatured alcohol instead. Ah, the sacrifices we are forced to endure.

I got off to a rocky start when I was asked to announce seconds were available just as I was about to begin. I had gone over everything in my head but somehow making an announcement wasn't something I foresaw and it just put me off my opening patter. And then when the paper wouldn't stay lit in the bottle that I was trying to suck an egg into, the wheels really came off the wagon. When I did get the egg in, there was so much wet paper (note - don't let the wife wash out the bottle before sucking an egg into it) paper wrapped around it that it wouldn't come out by blowing back into the bottle - it wouldn't seal. I am glad I tried crushing soda cans at home before hand since all I was able to do was suck water up into them so I was spared the embarrassment of a demonstration that didn't work at all. Oh well, once I moved on from the egg everything else worked really well except my time management so people actually thanked me for a great show. If only they knew how well it had gone in my head before hand!

Note to anyone else asked to put on science experiments for kids under 10 - don't talk, just play the theme from Mission Impossible while performing the experiments. Children of that age don't listen to the explanations and you wind up not doing some things when you run long.

Left Out, As Always

I feel so left out. I slept through the first quake at 4:30AM. I was jamming to Joe Satrioni at work and so missed the big aftershock. But I can be part of today's big story by directing you to this story that details how republicans are responsible for midwest quake. Thankfully, no one was hurt and damage was minimal.

Hey, at least I felt the one in 1968 (plus a bunch during my six California years).

Situation Normal, All In Flux

Back when the family was away and I had more time, I started the upgrade to MT4.1. Between poor documentation and outdated documentation on the part of MT and my web host, I had the wrong idea about what my problems were with the upgrade. Once I got current information from my web host, all I had to do was remember how I got MT2.x running manny moons ago when I switched from Greymatter to MT. So I finished the upgrade when I don't have a lot of time to get everything squared away. I hope to have it all squared away soon, time permitting, so please bear with the ongoing state of flux.

Home Alone - Kevin's Story

My wife and daughter are off looking at colleges in the Carolinas, my son is off in the Tetons going to school, and I'm at home all alone except for the dog. Let me say he isn't much of a conversationalist but he sure is happy to see me. Back in my bachelor days (a long, long time ago) being home alone was normal. Now it's weird and creepy. Not to mention a lot of work.

More of My Wisdom

I have another revamped aphorism I like to say:

Rome wasn't built without deadlines.

An Aphorism Of My Own

My son was giving me grief about using aphorisms, and asked me if I had anything original to say. I reminded him of one of my very own (at least as far as I know) aphorisms, or more accurately an aphorism with my own twist:

Time flies whether you have fun or not, so you might as well have fun

Okay, maybe it doesn't rank up there with

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana

but at least it's more than a funny line.

My Dark Secret

I'm always hearing about people with ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder. I never hear about my problem, ASD - Attention Surplus Disorder. My profession, engineering, is chock full of people just like me who can't defocus if our lives depended on it. The absent minded professor isn't absent minded, he too has a bad case of ASD and just has all of his attention focused on the one problem he finds interesting. My wife has learned that I won't remember even talking to her if she talks while I'm looking at a computer screen (or TV). I have plenty of attention, it's just all placed on one thing. So if you're wondering why I don't communicate with you anymore, it's not that I've forgotten or don't care, it's because I'm so wrapped up in something else it's as if you don't exist.

I'm an American-American

Just in case anyone was wondering, I'm proud of being an American-American.

Five Years of Blogging

I suppose I could have titled this post 5 years down the drain, but I didn't. I didn't because I've enjoyed a lot of the minutes I've spent blogging. Oct 3, 2002 I joined the blogosphere with 3 posts and a design that's changed very little over the years. 1420 posts, 629 comments, and a switch from Greymatter to Movable Type later, I'm still writing. Along the way over 110,000 different people have visited (according to eXTReMe Trackgin) and I've picked up two too infrequent co-authors. Eric Olsen at Blogcritics got me started in blogging, with a short run as a reviewer there. So again, thank you Eric, and may my reader(s) forgive you.

I've had a webpage for almost 11 years now; I started out in AOL Hometown when I put a family newsletter online, and then branched out shortly thereafter into a bloglike creation I called Stimulus and Response. In those days, I did most of my writing at the Fruit of the Murphy Loins various practices or waiting before events (for you non-parents out there, you have to get to things like concerts and dance receitals long before the scheduled start time when your little darling is in them). I continued to branch out under the umbrella of Funmurphys.com, but once the blog got going, all the rest has fallen by the wayside. In internet years, I'm so old the blog should be called Kevin 5.0.

Thanks for reading, 100 years ago I couldn't have hoped my writing would reach over 100,000 people all over the world.

A Season For Every Activity

The Fruit of the Murphy Loins are just a touch older than Da Goddess's, so I have to respond to her observation:

It doesn't matter if I just saw her the day before or two weeks ago or whenever, the simple fact is, she's growing up so fast. In just over a month she'll be 15. Little Dude is going to be 11 about a week from now. Both of them are constant reminders that I'm getting older.

I return (again)

You may have noticed I haven't been posting much around here. There are several reasons, from being busy, to not having much unique to say, to being tired of most of what passes for polical discourse these days (You're evil! You're eviler!! You're evilest!!! You're evil infinity!!!!!), and to self-imposed standard that after not posting awhile I have to have post that makes up for the time away. So I'd like to thank Carl, still desceased according to the Stanford Alumni Association, for writing a blog post that makes up for my not posting for months on end.

So let me do an incomplete speed round on while I've been gone:

Larry Craig - he did the right thing by resigning, and yes we should actually have police officers maintain order in public bathrooms so they don't become nothing but tea-rooms. I'm not a fan of the put all our police in one basket theory of law enforcement for too reasons - (1) it's the typical cry when somebody is caught doing something illegal that the police ought to be concerned with real criminals, and since there is a worse criminal for everyone except for the actual worst criminal, it's just a cop out, (2) theory and practice have shown that you need to sweat the small stuff when it comes to keeping order which should be the main function of police work.
I don't imagine the police like such duty, but somebody has to take out the trash.

I happened to be in an Apple store this weekend (or the Temple as I affectionately call it) and noticed two things - it was a lot more crowded than anywhere else in the mall, and the iPhone is a joy. I hate my cell phone, and if I could persuade myself, let alone the funWife, that it was worth all that money I'd own one. The interface is simply amazing and, yes, intuitive. I was able to navigate and have a ball just from having read a review. Based on sales figures, America agrees with me to the tune of making it the best selling smart phone out there. [full disclosure, I own Apple stock.]

Why doesn't Congress provide benchmarks for all of our Government activities? And isn't all the testing requried under No Child Left Behind benchmarks?

1998 isn't the hottest, fourth hottest, or even 1 millionth hottest month on record. Not if the record stretches back more than 150 years, but actually is the record of our best estimate of global temperatures over the eons.

That's all I have time for today, thanks for your attention, and tune in again next time (whenever that is).

How Much Pain Can I Stand?

I broke two of my toes three weeks ago. The last three weeks have been the busiest 3 for me of the year.

First off I managed to make the last three days of scout camp hobling around in my post-op shoe. Let me say one word: Ibuprofen. I was tapped out Thursday evening, which means I was selected by my fellow adults to be in the Order of the Arrow. Because of my toes, I sat out the rest of the evenings festivities and will have to make them up at a later date.

My son and I left summer camp and immediately attended my nephews wedding (Congratulations Bethany and Zach!) - and when I say immediately, I mean we drove home, showered, changed, and left again for Burnside Ill (population 75). It was a wonderful wedding, and the only mar was when somebody stepped on my toes at the reception. Fortunately they got one of the good ones on my left foot, which when examined later looked as bad as the two broken ones only with (somewhat) less pain.

We caught our breaths long enough for my son and I to then head off for Northern Tier, the Boy Scouts high adventure experience in the Boundary Waters of Northern Minnesota. I cleared my participation with the docter at the urgant care place that x-rayed my toes. He said broken toes are just a nuisance, and that my pariticipation was a matter of how much pain I could stand. When I told my wife that, she immediately remarked I wouldn't be going (which pretty much insured I did go.) Four days of travel (22 scouts and scouters in 2 15 passenger vans), 5 days of canoeing, portaging, and camping in the wilderness. Have I mentioned Ibuprofen? I took enough for my toes that my arms never got sore from paddling. I noticed the first day in the van my post-op shoe was shot - delaminations and deep cracks in the sole. One of my co-travellers observed that shoes like that didn't usually get the workout I was giving them.

We saw the Harry Potter movie on our return and yes we were at a book store at Midnight to pick up our reserved copy of The Deathly Hallows. My son finished the book on Saturday and was enjoined to secrecy until the whole family had finished it. I finished the book after a short break Sunday to mow the lawn and all I can say is that Ms. Rowling continues her fun and inventive ways all the way to the end. I expect that now I'll have to read the entire series straight through from beginning to end.

The best thing is that despite the toes and the whirlwind of activity, after three weeks off from work I'm as relaxed as I ever get.

Best Laid Plans

This week the male Fruit of the Murphy Loins and I were to attend a week long Boy Scout camp at beautiful S-F scout ranch. One minute I was carrying my bags down the stairs and the next I was lying on the floor with two broken toes. Now I wish I had put my boots on instead of holding off until we left. Oh well. As the doctor said, broken toes are just a nuisance.

Don't Let It All Hang Out, Please

I'm constantly amazed by how people act on the internet (not just blogs) -- which sadly isn't that much different than people act in public these days -- thrusting every part of themselves into the public square, no opinion held back no matter how uninformed, no emotion too raw, no passing thought too stray or pointless to be repressed, no thought about anyone else for that matter, always providing a virtual floor to ceiling window into their soul. I feel like Sally Rand in a Jenna Jamieson world.

What's That Sound?

There was a time I laughed at colds. Not any more. This getting old thing keeps revealing more and more downside.

Guilty Pleasure

I like Macs. I've bought five over the years, starting with that little darling, the Mac SE. My latest is the latest 20" iMac. I even own Apple stock. So I like the current round of ads with the slightly annoying Mac and the more than slightly nerdy PC -- see them all here.

Sleet, Ice, Snow Bury St. Louis

Yesterday we had rain that quickly changed to sleet in the morning. Last night it changed to freezing rain in a lot of areas, and then early this morning it changed back to snow. To the west, a lot of snow fell (16 inches in Columbia), and to the east, a lot more freezing rain fell. About 500,00 people in the St. Louis metro area were without power (including my parents in Kirkwood - thankfully they just called to tell me it was back on). It was, even by St. Louis standards, a freak storm. Beware of storms that track north and south - they pack a wallop. We've had thundersnow here before, but I think this is the first time we had thunderfreezing rain. Actually, we got so much rain at my house it all didn't freeze - part of my driveway was washed clean of snow and ice by all the runoff last night.

Yesterday I was sick at home with food poisoning; today I didn't go in after my wife and I watched our neighbor give up trying to get up the hill out of our subdivision. What a difference a day makes.

Since we didn't lose power here, I could admire the beauty, and took a break from shoveling my driveway to do so:

You can see my house and partly shoveled driveway. All of the tree branches are weighed down with snow and ice - one of them on the dogwood in my front yard snaped.

The view down my street -- I think it's pretty any season, but I don't get to see it this way too often (thankfully). They didn't plow here until mid-afternoon. My son spent the day sledding on a locally famous hill (no, not Art Hill - by locally, I mean locally. I spent the day shoveling, and visiting my parents.

My neighbors across the street lost several large limbs out of their silver maple (word of advice - never plant a soft maple). This one first landed on their roof before winding up in their driveway. They were happy Brian's truck wasn't parked there as it usually is. I think just about everybody had a tree that dropped a limb. On the way to my parents one street was closed, and another had a lane blocked by a huge limb that came down. We even saw a pin oak bent over double with the top in the street. A couple of doors up from my parents a tree limb pinned a power line leading to a neighbor's house.

I have to admit, it sure was a winter wonderland around here today. The bradford pear in this picture is missing a half due to this summer's freak summer storm that left half a million without power.

Shelley has several posts about the storm: Icicles, Again, one of the lucky ones, and Let's talk about the weather.

Gateway Pundit has a post, St. Louis gets slammed with ice.

And Jim Durbin has power but no propane.

Funmurphys Meets You Tube

We got a new computer (another iMac), and the Fruit of the Murphy Loins found Photo Booth first thing. Then it was on to iMovie HD so we made a movie. Not a good one, it's a bit silly. OK, it's far too silly, but it's my only movie, so here it is.

That's 2 minutes of your life you won't get back.

Deeply Disturbing

I found this article (h/t J Bowen) about a man from Huntington Beach who travelled to Lompoc to get, well, you'll have to read the article, but it brings new meaning to the phrase sowing wild oats, deeply disturbing. And I was disturbed more than most of you, because back when I lived in Huntington Beach I stayed in Lompoc on business a couple of times. And for the record, I wore a suit and had zero contact with horses.

I Live

Just in case you're worried, I am alive. I've been busy personally and professionally (does that make me a professional? I suppose so) and I've been working on a couple of larger posts. While I'm not the best writer in the world, I'm no where near the fastest. I don't even rise to the level of half fast.

Survival Gear

Paul Graham writes in The Island Test:

I've discovered a handy test for figuring out what you're addicted to. Imagine you were going to spend the weekend at a friend's house on a little island off the coast of Maine. There are no shops on the island and you won't be able to leave while you're there. Also, you've never been to this house before, so you can't assume it will have more than any house might.

What, besides clothes and toiletries, do you make a point of packing? That's what you're addicted to. For example, if you find yourself packing a bottle of vodka (just in case), you may want to stop and think about that.

For me the list is four things: books, earplugs, a notebook, and a pen.

And that brings us to the ear plugs. Mr. Graham and I bring them for the same reason - quiet. Only where he wants quiet so he can think, I want them so I can sleep. I used my earplugs just as I wanted - every night. They are the best value in weight you'll ever take on a camping trip. I have to agree with Mr. Graham's final sentiments:

There is a point where I'll do without books. I was walking in some steep mountains once, and decided I'd rather just think, if I was bored, rather than carry a single unnecessary ounce. It wasn't so bad. I found I could entertain myself by having ideas instead of reading other people's. If you stop eating jam, fruit starts to taste better.

So maybe I'll try not bringing books on some future trip. They're going to have to pry the plugs out of my cold, dead ears, however.

Things That Make You Go HMM

After I read this morning an article about how breathing any amount of second hand smoke is harmful, I'm sitting at a stoplight on my way to work with the drivers of the two cars in front and one behind smoking.

White Guilt: Foreward

Why yes, I've been busy lately - or I should say busier. So less posting. I just finished White Guilt: How Blacks and Whites Together Destroyed the Promise of the Civil Rights Era by Shelby Steele. It really is a GUT (grand unified theory) that explains the political scene of the last 50 years. I'd like to explore the book in greater detail later, but I'll just note a few quick things, like how the Publisher's Weekly editorial review calls Mr. Steele "contrarian cultural critic Steele" which begs the question, contrarian to what? The establishment view? The gospel of the left? What the reviewer thinks? It's especially ironic as the review just noted that he's "speaking the language of moralism, individual freedom and responsibility" -- apparently all those things are no longer part of the dominant culture, or at least the dominant culture in publishing circles.

I found the book to be a quick, interesting, and very important read. I was drawn in when Mr. Steele described how his father would call out "Say chief" to get someone's attention in the 50's -- something my father did in the 60's.

But the most important part of the book is his theory of what happened at the culmination for the Civil Rights Movement, how White Guilt replaced White Superiority, and what the effect that has had on not just race relations ever since. Really good stuff.

Thanks to All Poll Workers

I voted yesterday. As always, my polling place was staffed by seriously old people. As I was going through the line of getting my ballot, one of the staffers complained to another that this getting up before breakfast was for the birds. So I chimed in with "You're making Democracy possible. Thanks." I got no response, so I have to assume that I didn't speak loudly enough for either of them to hear. But I still want to thank you two and all the other people who take the time to make democracy possible.

Check Engine Light Solution

If your check engine light comes on in your car, tighten your gas cap first. You might even consider taking it off and putting it on again but this time tightly just to make sure. I'm embarrased to tell you how much it cost me to learn this lesson, but I provide it to you for free. That's just the kind of guy I am.

More I Just Don't Get It

Yesterday I mentioned I have been searched only once by the police. It happened in college when I was back home over the Christmas break (we could actually use that word back then). Three other friends and I went to a Pizza Inn or Hut in Rock Hill late one evening. The place was closed early, and so after pounding on the door and examining the posted hours, we discussed where to go to assuage our hunger. We noticed a police car in the filling station across the street, so when we headed west on Manchester with the police car following, the driver, Dave, made sure to stay below the speed limit.

The police officer turned on his lights just before we entered Warson Woods, so by the time we actually pulled over at the Warson Woods shopping center, we had an officer from Warson Woods, and a Sargeant from Glendale in addition to the officer from Rock Hill. The Rock Hill officer, who wouldn't tell us why we were pulled over, was none too happy when Dave gave him a paper driver's license which was a temporary because his original had been destroyed in an apartment fire in Columbia. So they went off to the Rock Hill car to sort matters out, leaving us with the Warson Woods officer standing alongside the passenger side ignoring my friend Greg in the back seat who kept asking him why we were pulled over. Greg's brother had apparently had a number of run ins with the Rock Hill police and his family didn't have a high opinion of them. Greg wanted to get out and address the officer directly, and since it was a two door car, I got out to let Greg out. The Warson Woods officer was none too happy that either of us got out, so he told us to get back in the car. Greg told him he wouldn't get back until we were informed why we had been pulled over. The officer than said he was giving us a lawful police order to get back in the car. I complied, Greg didn't. So they handcuffed Greg, searched all of us and searched the car.

All they found was four college students looking for pizza.

I have to admit I snickered when I was ordered to take the keys out of my pocket "real slow" while the police officer watched very intently with hand on gun following the discovery during my patdown that I had a large metal object in my pocket. My keys were on a very large brass K.

The Glendale sargeant eventually persuaded the Rock Hill police officer, who about went ballistic when we told him we'd simply follow him to the Rock Hill police department and pay $500 cash to bail Greg out of jail, to let us go since we were "super squeeky clean" and he was glad he wasn't the one who would have to write this one up. So after Greg "apologized" we were on our way.

So why bring this up? Did you notice something? We were searched without a warrant. Some would have you believe that's a violation of the fourth amendment. Apparently not. Anything else? It was Greg, and Greg only who "didn't obey a lawful police order", but we were all searched along with the car. That's right, I, who did obey the order, was searched, along with my two friends who weren't even subject to the order. You mean they could search a persons associates? Just in case there's some question, we were all US citizens on US soil.

One last thing - they finally told us what we were pulled over for while driving 28 MPH down Manchester Road -- loitering.

Four In The Morning

I've been vandalized. Who knew laywers were into tagging, but the Listless one tagged me with the “Four in the Morning” meme.

Four Places You’ve Lived:
1. Kirkwood MO
2. Palo Alto CA
3. Huntington Beach CA
4. Kirkwood MO

Four Jobs You’ve Had In Your Life:
1. Stump Remover -- no power tools allowed.
2. Hasher.
3. Rocket Scientist.
4. Authority Figure -- at least to the Fruit of My Loins.

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over (and Over and Over):
1. True Grit. The Duke finally wins his Oscar, thus showing what a fat old man can do.
2. The Shawshank Redemption. I get to watch it over and over on cable.
3. Duel at Diablo. The Thinking Man's western.
4. Groundhog Day. Bill Murray's Catholic allegory.

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:
1. Seinfeld
2. Rockford Files
3. The Amazing Race
4. Monk

Four Places You’ve Been on Vacation:
1. Eureka MO
2. Sheffield IA
3. Walt Disney World FL
4. Interlaken Switzerland

Four Websites You Visit Daily:
1. Google News
2. Instapundit
3. Macsurfer Daily News
4. Ed Driscoll

Four Of Your Favorite Foods:
1. Italian Salad, St. Louis Style (Pasta House, Rich & Charlies, Massas etc.)
2. Chicken Scaloppine.
3. Key Lime Pie (if it is yellow, not green).
4. Peanut Brittle

Four Places You’d Rather Be:
1. Heaven
2. No Place
3. On Vacation
4. There is no 4th place

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without:
While I've fully embraced Mix, Rip, & Burn, Kevin's Favorites 1 to 4 wouldn't mean much. I did the same thing in the heyday of cassette tapes, but Long, Obscure and/or Weird 1 and 2 also wouldn't mean much.
1. Illusions on a Double Dimple
2. The Unforgettable Fire
3. Close to the Edge
4. Reach the Beach

Four People To Tag With This Meme
1. Tom McMahon
2. Jenne
3. Charles Austin
4. Busymom

iPod Nation Minus 1

I'm a stock owning member of the Apple Cult, so while I love iPod and what it's done for the company (and the stock), it pains me that (1) it's expensive and (2) I can't think of a good reason I should own one. If it were cheaper, I wouldn't need a good reason, but before I'm going to shell out even $99 for the least expensive model, I have to have a place to listen to it. I already have a CD player at home, at work, and in my car, so the only significant chunk of time left is when I'm attending the Fruit of the Murphy Loins activites, and listening to my iPod instead of cheering them on or listening to them play their own music is more than just bad form.

Made My Day

I'm not one to brag, but my teenage daughter gave me a hug yesterday in front of schoolmates. OK, it was my birthday, she was dripping wet, it was her water polo teammates who weren't paying attention and who aren't exactly her close friends, but that is still big news. Any father of a teenage daughter knows just how big. It's the kind of moment that makes you want to let out a big Yeaaaghhhhhhh!!!!!.

It's Not The Age, It's the Milage

This blog started October 3, 2002 and after 3 years it has achieved the status of a blog that hardly matters. But I'm not discouraged, because there's a huge difference between hardly matters, and matters not at all. It's the difference between Gigli and The Princess Bride, though not in that order. But my web presence is older than this blog; I've maintained a continuous presence since 1996 when I first published a web version of a family newsletter - which means I'm almost a decade old in internet time, which makes me, well, way over the hill in real time. Good thing I'm not a dog, or I'd have turned to dust by now.

So anyway, Happy (slightly belated) Blog Anniversary to me and all that.

All's Well

I've been busy, and had a hiccup with the site, so I haven't posted in a week. And per usual, my hits have gone up when I don't post. But as I'm all about giving my readers what they don't want, here's a post. Although considering how misinformed you are if you read the first draft of history, perhaps I should simply post with a weeks delay. Not that there's anything wrong with Delay, but I don't want to give the impression that I'm covering anything up.

Few things get me steamed like other drivers, and today was worse than usual. I had to pick up my son from school so we could go see my daughter's water polo game, and meetup with my wife along the way. Normally not a problem, but it rained today, and rain seems to suck the ability out of drivers. When my son reported that I'd yelled at four other drivers on the way, my thought was "is that all?", but I said out loud "they all deserved it" -- which they did. The truck that decided that he was in the wrong lane and just moved over forcing me to change lanes; the pickup that made a right turn without slowing at a red light in front of me deserved both the yelling and the horn blowing; the people who stopped in a middle of a right turn because the cars going straight were splashing water on their cars (yes, I said people because about 3 people in front of me did that exact same thing and no, I didn't stop when I made my turn and my car got splashed with water because I actually know how to drive a car); the car with headlights off coming at me over the centerline and into my lane all deserved to be yelled at and worse, but all they got was the yelling. Needless to say, yet still spoken, I didn't get yelled at once all night. Not even by my teenage daughter.

Papa's Home

I've been traveling recently. And as always, I'm fed up with certain of my fellow travellers -- the ones who are inconsiderate. You know the ones - the people stand in front of the trays you have to empty all your stuff into to go through the x-ray machines but don't pass them down to fellow passengers and who stand right where the stuff comes out of the machine and block access for everyone else when there is plenty of room to move further down. And to the person who peed all over seat 15D - you're lucky I thought to check before I sat in it.

I also con't care for certain hotels - the MGM Grand in Las Vegas comes to mind. Whoever set up your check in proceedures should be shot, and your maintainence people along with them. What takes so long to check into a flipping hotel. Why does it take five minutes and several hundred keystrokes to type in a 12 letter name, a 12 digit credit card number, and a 12 digit license number? And how is it you manage to remember to charge the credit card for the first night's stay while you happen to forget the same reservation? While a TV remote that doesn't turn the TV off when changing the channel or the volume would be nice, you ought to make darn sure that the closet door stays closed if you're going to have a light automattically come on when the closet door is open so that a weary traveller doesn't to find something to prop up against the door so they can sleep.

I will say airport security has gotten better. No more questions about who packed your bag and random investigations into the other side of your belt buckle, just a great deal of scrutiny of your drivers license. You still have to have your shoes x-rayed, although I'd prefer they just look for a fuse sticking out of the heel.

Natural Hazards

Saturday morning I did a little yard work - mowed the lawn, pulled my weight in Ivy, filled a trash can with sticks and limbs, and puttered about in general. Afterwards I noticed an itchy patch on my ankle I assumed was a spider bite so I alternated spraying it with hydrocortisone and applying Calahist. Monday morning the area developed a blister that kept growing until Tuesday morning it was the size of a grape when the doctor cut it off. Yep, she took a pair of scissors and cut the darn thing right off. Then she gave me a prescription for an anti-histimine for the itch which has made me drowsy, and mostly itch free, ever since.

Monday what was Hurricane Dennis came to St. Louis and provided a steady rain which we badly needed. I sat out in it for three and half hours that night watching my kids swim team go undefeated for the season. The important thing was never to get up from my chair so it would stay dry. Towards the end I was actually glad when the swimmers would splash me since that water was warm.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the week since I figure it can only get better.

No Body Does Anything About It

Yesterday was a scorcher here. Naturally, I did yard work last evening -- mainly spreading mulch to keep my poopsies's roots cool and moist. So after I was finished and I was moving the sprinkler to water the mulch I had just emplaced, I went to meet the new neighbors who were moving a few things in. I'm sure they were happy to see me coming what with sweat pouring off me, grime clinging to my clothes, and a certain air, if you know what I mean, emanating from me. But they were polite and soon my wife and daughter joined me after their jaunt to the source of inexpensive goods. They were shortly followed by another neighbor taking the trash out. Welcome to the neighborhood and I hope you don't mind us swarming. I won't wonder if they run when they see me coming in the future.

And then it was off to walk the dog, because I didn't want to take a shower and then go back out into the tropical rainforest immediately afterwards. And despite the fact that the night was oppressive with a surplus of heat and humidity, everybody was out. Why pay for a sauna when you can just walk out your front door and bask in the moist heat? It made for a very slow walk because the funWife and I were stopping every other house to chat. It would have been enjoyable, and ultimately funny if it weren't so darn unpleasant to be outdoors. And we weren't even wearing a fur coat like the dog. When we saw the last possible neighbor drag her trash to the curb behind us, the other fearless leader wasn't kidding when she said "run!"

Somedays Are Better Than Others

About a block from work this morning, the guy in the car of me flips me off twice, then waves big and smiles. Did he confuse me with somebody else? Did he have trouble waving the first two times? I thought maybe it was a coworker but he kept on going so hopefully I'll never see him or his fingers ever again.

Father's Day

I had a very nice Father's Day, thank you very much. A nice shirt, breakfast, and a couple of neat cards - my daughter turns out beautiful, thoughtful cards. I ought to have her start selling custom made cards over the internet. I sunburned my right side at an afternoon baseball game to match my left side I burned at Saturday morning's game. It all evens out. Except the umping, which stunk at both games. I used to tell my son the umps are doing the best they can; now I just don't say anything because I'm not so sure anymore.

So to all you fathers out there - Happy Father's Day! (slightly belated)

Snot Nosed Kid

What good are sinuses? What do they do besides collect snot and then serve it up in heaping helpings that clog other, more valuable real estate? Scientists are stumped, but we're stuck with the darn things anyway. Can you tell I'm on my third illness in as many weeks? Can you guess what it is? Sure you can.

Back In The Saddle Again

The Murphy Family has returned refreshed and renewed from the mountains. And with views like this one, how else could we have returned? It's not like I had to endure 2 days of hearing the Fruit of the Murphy Loins cooped up in the van tell each other "Don't touch me" a hundred times a day. OK, I did. But just look at the view. And when they went with "Don't touch me in any way, shape, or form", that almost made me smile. Almost.

You can almost hear the wind whisper in the trees. I did.

Portrait of the Artist

Tastes Great, Less Girth, I Can Sleep At Night

I'm not anti-caffeine. But as I've said before, I think caffeine is too effective a drug to waste on recreational use. And that brings me to today's complaint -- why is it so hard to order a diet white (i.e uncaffeinated) soda in a restaurant? Is it really that poor of a seller? Since caffeine stimulates the appetite, you'd think people who are watching their weight (and that seems to be a majority of us these days) would want a no calorie, no caffeine yet tastes great solution to their beverage problem. I don't want to sue, but desperate men do desperate things.

Something To Keep The Mind Occupied

I'm driving to work this morning listening to the CD I made last night (have I mentioned how much I like iTunes?) and I'm struck by how much better diction musicians of today have than when I was a teen. In those days, you never knew what in the heck they were saying - mondegreens were rampant. I could make out every word Pink was singing in Get The Party Started. I don't think I've ever been able to make out half the words Robert Plant has sung (for you youngsters, he's the guy lamenting how long its been since he rock 'n' rolled or did the stroll in the Cadillac ads -- at least that's what I think he's saying.). My initial thought was that the rock musicians of yesteryear were drunk and/or stoned most of them time, leading to the slurring, while today's group are high on cocain, leading to the careful annunciation of every syllable.

But upon further reflection, as I enjoyed the cadences of Pink and Seal, I think it's the influence of Rap that leads to the current clarity of singing. While I'm not a big fan of rap (I like Young MC, but then he's hardly in the mainstream of rap), I do admire the vocal clarity and rhythm of rap. But then, rap is just poetry set to music -- iambic pentameter of the modern age. A quick check of Google, and I discovered to my disappointment but not surprise that this thought was not original.

So that's just one way my mind occupies itself during my commute.

We Keep Up

I've made some chages around here -- more than the obvious cosmetic ones -- I've switched to Movable Type from Greymatter and my brother will also be posting here. I hope you'll still find the same wit and wisdom leavened with fun, only more so.

Me So Geek

A discussion has broken out about who the Rohirrim are supposed to be in the "real world," the nexus of which is at this post at Impearls, which I discovered via Geitner Simmons. Well, they are forgetting that Tolkein rejected such allegory: "I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and have always done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence [emphasis mine]". The Rohirrim are simply a group that sprang from Tolkein's mind, with no doubt many an influence from history, but not a transposition of a real people from history.

Be sure to follow the links from site to site, or you'll miss many a gem, including this great sendup of (biblical) literary source criticism by Mark Shea.

I have to note, the discussion starts innocently enough, with Michael McNeil contrasting who Peter Jackson and company modeled the Rohirrim on for the movie, and who in his opinion they should have modeled them on. Fun stuff, but it is easy to get carried away.

While you can argue endlessly about who is the best historical fit for the Riders of Rohan (and believe me, there is every indication that that is the proper length of the discussion), there is no denying that the honor culture that the Vikings had, and is common to warrior peoples such as the Vikings, Sarmatians, Samuri, Navaho, Aztecs etc., is most accessable to Americans today through the Vikings and especially Icelandic sagas. I've often had trouble understanding (or at least appreciating) the motivations of characters in Victorian writings (and the movies made from them) like Howard's End, but I have no trouble understanding what motivates the characters of Njal's Saga.

As long as we're on the subject of Lord of the Rings and the Eorlingas, I have to say I think that the character of Theoden came through the best from the books into the movies, if only because he lost so little face time in the transition from one to the other. One of the nice things about Tolkein was that he didn't put modern characters into previous times; Theoden could have been lifted straight out of an Icelandic saga, with his concern over his honor and desire for glory. While I prefer the books to the movies, it is undeniable that certain parts simply work better in the movie -- even when taken straight from the book, and Theoden rallying the Rohirrim before their charge onto the Pellenor Fields is one of them and is one of my favorite parts of the movies. He also had the most detailed and believable growth in the movie, nosing out Sam.

As long as I'm talking about characterization in Lord of the Rings, one of the oddities of the books is that Frodo, ostensibly the main character (I do happen to agree with the analysis that in fact Sam is the protagonist - a reference to which I don't have the time to track down at the moment) is in many ways the least likable or interesting. His main strength is simply enduring the unendurable. His most selfless single act is trying to leave Sam behind along with the rest of the Fellowship, which he both fails at and which feels more like cowardice than sacrifice. Jackson made his overall sacrifice clearer by having him note that while he saved the Shire, he didn't save it for himself -- he's a tragic hero. Sam on the other hand gets to be a loyal and true friend, and he gets most of the good lines (both in the books and in the movie). Merry and Pippin go from baggage constantly needing rescuing to the fearless and competent leaders of the Scouring of the Shire (left out of the movie, and so Jackson made them into complete to bumpkins in the beginning to provide their growth) where they even scold Frodo for his lack of action. Faramir is just screwed in the movies, although the extended version of The Two Towers explains the relationship with his father better which doesn't make him look as bad.

OK, enought Geek for one post.

All Quiet on the Blog Front

I have been busier at work lately (I don't think I can get much busier at home); last week I was in Huntsville. So if you're wondering why it's been all quiet on the blog front, now you know. I spent too much time in meetings to see much of the town, but I did manage to go to a great little restaurant -- eating out is about the only recompense for company travel IMHO. So if you're ever near Huntsville Alabama, you have to go eat at The Chef's Table and try their tappas style dinner - make sure you get dessert.

Coincidence or Fate?

OK, I'm mildly freaked out. If Lileks writes about going to the beach in Delaware anytime soon, I'll be really freaked out. He just went to Scottsdale. Our vacation last year (not this past year - thus pre-dating the blog) was to Pheonix - which is adjacent to Scottsdale. We hooked up with friends (she - my junior year R.A., we had singles across the hall from each other; he - one of the thousands who were my brother's housemates at 2101 Santa Cruz; both - maried to each other yet not introduced by my brother or I) who took us to the Sugerbowl. Before that, he went to Vegas. Well, I wrote about my recent trip to Vegas too.

I know what you're thinking (besides the fact that Lileks writes much better than I) - he also goes on about his annual trips to New York. Well, I just found out today that I have to go to Newark, which is close enough to elevate my freak out level past orange.

Ugly and Proud!

I am a studmuffin of conservatism. Not just any, but the shirtless studmuffin. No, that's not a sweater I'm wearing. J Bowen led me there, as he as led me so many other wonderful places. Not only I, but the whole internet community thanks you J. You can throw out your syrup of Ipecac, it's no longer needed.

I Have Returned

Yes, I had a lovely Thanksgiving, and I hope you did too. Yes, I've enjoyed my brief time away from blogging, and I hope you did too. My traffic figures think you did - this is the second time my traffic has gone up when I've taken a mini-vacation. Thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I'll put up a tip jar and promise to retire if enough money is donated.

Unforgotten Tales

I wanted The Two Towers for my birthday, but the extended version wasn't out yet. So I agonized, and put it on my Christmas list. While that means I don't have to pay for it, it also means I have to wait for it. Until Christmas. I suppose that's just as well as the odds of me having three continguous, uninterupted hours to watch before then are pretty slim, but it does mean I have to scurry after the crumbs others leave behind. Thanks Dodd, may I have another?

Blogger Pictures

Outside The Beltway got a lot of play with their list of female blogger pictures. Just in case somebody wants to compile a list of male blogger pictures, I'm posting this one (I think nothing says class like topless):

In case you're wondering what my better half looks like, or my crib, here you go:

I'm Famous, Or At Least My Name Is

There are more famous Kevin Murphy's than me, and there are those who are equally famous (as in non). You can read an interview with one of the more famous ones, the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (or MST3K to the true fan) one, who talks about the future of film (i.e. movies) in a digital world.

Travelogue Light

Flying in First Class is one of the last bastions of classism in America. You're wined and dined while the poor unfortunates in coach get nothing but an announcement to stop using the first class lavatory unless it is an emergency. But it is done American style - anybody can fly first class if they pay the money (or upgrade via frequent flyer miles). I flew first class to Las Vegas (strictly business -- we rented a car and drove to NAS China Lake. It makes for a long day, but hey, it's not every day you get to blow up a tank.)

It was amazing to see how Vegas is an oasis of suburbia amidst complete desolation. You fly an hour over the desert with rarely a sign of humanity and then lawns, trees, cul-de-sacs, and swimming pools set in an endless sea of tract housing. And the airport isn't just close to the strip - it's right next to it. This isn't your normal city. And I-15 was crowded between Vegas and LA on a Sunday night -- bumper to bumper traffic while driving through miles of nothingness.

The next morning we put a hole in a tank, and drove back to Vegas but this time we could actually see more than just headlights, tailights, and sand beside the road. I have to admit, the desert does have a beauty all of its own. And as I stood huddled against the cold waiting for the parking bus to come at the St. Louis airport, I missed the heat of the desert too.

The resorts in Vegas really are something to be hold - they are all glitzy. The older ones have sheer bulk, while the later ones are themed palaces of glory. It really is an impressive place. Since I don't gamble anymore -- I lose so fast it isn't fun for me -- it wasn't too expensive, either. But I have to say, I didn't see any joy on the faces of the gamblers - even when the slot machines were merrily chinking away, the winner sat stoically. Judging by facial expression, it all seems like another day at the office.

Tropical Heat Wave

I was in a meeting yesterday with a bunch of Brits; I joked St. Louis and London had swapped weather for the summer. Europe has had a scorching summer; in St. Louis it's been a fairly mild one. I know we scoff when the all time record for London is 100 degrees F, but as the Brits pointed out, nobody has airconditioning at home, at work or in their cars. So I have to sympathize with them over their plight. I experience it evertime I visit my parents, because my mother dislikes airconditioning so much it's only turned on when the temperature courts 100 degrees.

One of my older co-workers pointed out that he'd lived here without airconditioning for many a year; I was a kid when we got AC at home, and I can remember the worry that it would keep us kids from playing outdoors in the summer. It didn't - we were happier having fun in the heat than being bored in the cool; but I think electronic games and cable TV channels aimed at children have to a large degree kept kids from playing outdoors (plus parents aren't as carefree with their kids as they once were.) When I was growing up, there were no electronic games; and the only programing aimed at kids were cartoons on Saturday mornings and old TV shows (think Nick at Night and TV land) on weekday afternoons on channel 11, the only non-network station in St. Louis. That was it. I grew up on humor originally aimed at adults - Green Acres, Gilligan's Island, F Troop, Petticoat Junction - shows that I was amazed to later discover were actually on network TV in primetime. Now kids can stay cocooned in their own age appropriate programming in the airconditioned comfort of their own homes. I'm sure it is their ruination. That and organized sports outside of school.

It's All About Me

I realize it's a shocking display of insensitivity to the sacrifice of our soldiers and the unmitigated horror the Iraqi's went through under Saddam's reign, but now that he's gone from the world stage, I'm hoping people go back to saying I look like a young Omar Sharif instead of Saddam. I'll be able to wear a beret again, not trim my moustache regularly, and hail a cab without that odious comparison.

Can You Tell I've Been Busy?

Between a new computer at home, the kids, regrading the back yard (by hand), and my job getting in the way of the rest of my life, I've been even more busy than usual. The whole retiring early, selling the house and travelling around the country in an RV is looking better and better all the time.

TMI

I hate to admit it, but it's a plain fact: I like musicals. Stage musicals, movie musicals, it doesn't matter. When I get two spare moments together, I want to see Chicago with my wife. I loved Moulin Rouge. I was once a season ticket holder to the Muny and Stages (before kids). Heck, I even liked Cop Rock, Steve Bochco's only flop. I like the way people just broke out in song as naturally as breathing. I'd like to just break out in song at the drop of a hat myself, but only control myself because I'm such a poor singer. My infirmity hides my eccentricity. I only sing in church, where people have to be nice, or alone in my car, where people don't hear.

But wait, there's more. I've started to listen to show tunes at work. I bought my wife both soundtracks for Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and I've taken to listening to the Donny Osmond version over headphones at work. Usually I follow it with Joe Satriani's Dancing with the Alien or Yes's Tales from Topographical Oceans to reassure myself of my manhood. But I definitely have more fun listening to Joseph. If you see me buying Showboat on either DVD or CD, then please, please, start the intervention.

First Day Of Spring

I don't care what the calender says, today is the first day of spring. My crocus have burst into glorious bloom, and there was even a honeybee busy gathering pollen. I hope this means the honeybees are finally making a comeback against the mites that almost wiped them out. It feels like spring -- warm and sunny with the wind roaring through the leafless trees. This morning we were out delivering Girl Scout cookies. After selling them in the depths of winter, and an especially cold and snowy winter, I was happy to get to visit the neighbors in a short sleave shirt. Days like today make winter worthwile.

Haircut Musings

I, along with the Fruit of the Murphy Loins, got my hair cut last night. I've reached that age where not only do they trim the stuff on my head, but they cut back the thicket sprouting from my ears and even clipped the rogues trying to escape from my eyebrows. My son once looked in my ears and remarked "now I know why you can't hear, all that hair blocks the sound." Hey kid, can you guess why I get short of breath easily?

I have to add male hair to the list of evolutionary puzzles along with menstruation and painful childbirth. As I get older, hair grows best where I need it least. Long after I've passed on my genes, it sprouts in new places that certainly provide me no survival advantages, only embarrassment. It's changing from virile to pelt and has adopted the Star Trek motto: To explore strange new patches of skin ... to seek out new places and new growth ... to boldly go where no hair has gone before. And please, "it hides the wrinkles" isn't an answer to the puzzle.

My Demographic Has Taken Over

The music of Led Zeppelin is used to sell Cadilacs; The Who and Heart is used by Nissan; Mountain Dew picked Queen; Office Depot figures BTO (Bachman Turner Overdrive, which was what was left when Burton Cummings left The Guess Who) can move product; Nortell is trying to sell with John Lennon and David Bowie. Movies aren't just comic book like anymore - they increasingly are adaptions of comics. I used to think Superman and Batman were just a phase, but Marvel is fighting back - X-Men, Spiderman, Daredevil, the Hulk. (BTW, if you're interested in buying comics from the eighties, let me know). And video games are a bigger business (8 Billion) than movies (6 Billion). It's obvious that my demographic has finally filtered up to the boardroom and taken over.

How I Look At The World

I'm an incrementalist - bet you weren't ready for that. OK, what I mean is that I'm not looking for perfection, I'm looking for things to get better, realizing that all choices have pros and cons. It's like an optometrist checking your eyes - they keep giving you choices between two lenses- "is this better, or that?" And since I've hit the down slope after 40, I have to balance my near and distant vision. If I go for 20/15 with my contacts, there goes reading menus in romantic restaurants. Even bifocals are a comprimise. And that's life. You'll thank me later for saving you a hike up a mountaintop.

Kevin Murphy the lesser

There are a lot of Kevin Murphy's out there. While not as common as John Smith, the name, as a simple google search will show, has become common. Murphy has always been as common as dirt, but Kevin has enjoyed a surge in popularity after I was born. When I was growing up, I only knew of two other Kevin's (OK, 3 if you count St. Kevin, patron saint of blackbirds) but now we're everywhere - I once got an IM from a Kevin Murphy (back in my AOL days) who thought the mutual name was cause for some sort of celebration. There are three Kevin Murphy's who work for the same large company I do, which I know because as I'm listed first in the email directory, I get a lot of their email. Anyway, my referrer logs indicate that somebody came here looking for "Kevin Murphy" "the lesser", and apparently they found him. Kevin Murphy "the greater", according to Google, is a doctor in British Columbia. It's hard to argue, but I can work on being Kevin Murphy the wise, or Kevin Murphy Supreme Commander, or Kevin Murphy one hot tamale.

My Absence

Last week during the day I was in class learning C++. At night I worked on the bathroom. That's pretty much what I did all week. The C++ class was a lot of fun to start with, but all day learning is hard on an old man. By the end of the week I was mentally ground down and having trouble with the in class excercises.

We had our bathroom redone - new tile floor, new countertop, new shower enclosure. I was going to do the easy part of removing the old paper and replacing it with venetian plaster. The paper had already curled at every edge and looked like no problem to remove the rest of the way. Twelve hours later, it was gone. The previous owners of our house had expanded the bathroom. When they did, they put up the wall paper before finishing the bathroom, so it goes behind the countertops, cabinets, mirrors, the window and door trim, and even the jacuzzi tub. I had to take a utility knife to it to remove it cleanly. Then came the venetian plaster -- the first coat didn't match the color we wanted, so the second coat was a different, lighter color (which was a closer match, but no where near exact). It took about 6 hours for one coat, since it wall all applied by trowel. Yes, my wrists have stopped hurting. At least the third coat (the top coat) took only one night. Saturday morning I started the sanding and burnishing. Forturnately I stepped back to examine my handiwork before doing too much of it. Imagine the agony of disappointment when my work looked only vaguely like what was in the brochure. Yes, in certain locations it had that polished marbled look, but only if you were about six inches away. If you were at a reasonable viewing distance, it looked like a very poor paint job. There was no joy in mudville. So now we're considering what color paint to use. I like our bathroom a lot, but I want to spend a lot less time in it.

Thoughts While Removing Wallpaper

Last night while stripping wallpaper, the name Saxby Chambliss kept going through my mind. I think that's the real reason he won (Senator from Georgia) -- once you hear the name, you can't get it out of your head. And it kept echoing off Boothby - the groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy played by My Favorite Martian, Ray Walston. Saxby, meet Boothby. Boothby, meet Saxby. Now get outta my head (and stay outta my car, too)!

The Glorious Blaze of Fall

The leaves started turning color this week. It started, as it usually does, with the hard maples, and has begun to spread to the dogwood. The sycamores are just looking sick, and the oaks haven't changed a bit. The weather this summer was hot and dry, and it seemed the longer summer went on, the hotter and dryer it got. I don't expect a great color this year; many of the trees have started dropping without even changing. But even a poor year is still beautiful, and for those of us who love fall, it really is one of the highlights of the season. I was amazed when I discovered that only in North America and East Asia due the trees change color in the fall; it was in a garden book that recommended not planting European trees if you wanted fall color because they didn't provide much of a display.

As long as I'm talking about gardening, I want to brag about my pumpkins. This year the vine that volunteered from last year's seeds was enormous and threatened to take over the front yard; the neighbors would discreetly enquire about it when we ran into them. I've gotten a big and little pumpkin off it already, and there's another one just starting to grow. Yeah, we're in touch with nature here at funmurphys.

Better Never Than Late

Early last month when my wife wasn't working, the power went off during the day. Our electric company, Ameren-UE, said it was a pre-planned outage and that we should have been notified in advance. Well, we got our notification yesterday -- only a month late. Thanks for nothing, Ameren-UE. Can I pay the next bill a month late?