Funmurphys: the Blog

By the Waters of Babylon

Thanks to Netflix we worked our way through the first season of "Mad Men" last week. I heartily recommend the series: it's well photographed and well acted and takes you back to the early 60's. Watching adults drink and (drink and drink and) drive--without seatbelts no less--or children playing "spaceman" with the (these are not a toy!) clear plastic dry cleaning bags reminds you of how much has changed in the last four decades or so.

One episode, entitled "Babylon" ends with a cover of Don Mclean's Babylon (but get the original) with it's moving lyrics from Psalm 137:

By the waters, the waters of Babylon.
We lay down and wept, and wept, for thee Zion.
We remember thee, remember thee, remember thee Zion.

YouTube has the segment here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4aAgvQelGI

As I was searching for more information on the song I came across Stephen Vincent Benet's mesmerizing short story "By The Waters of Babylon" that details a young man's journey to a ruined New York City, known to his people as "The Place of the Gods" (and the title of the story when originally published in the Saturday Evening Post in 1937). I had read it as a boy and was moved again re-reading this scene:

He was sitting in his chair, by the window, in a room I had not entered before and, for the first moment, I thought that he was alive. Then I saw the skin on the back of his hand--it was like dry leather. The room was shut, hot and dry--no doubt that had kept him as he was. At first I was afraid to approach him--then the fear left me. He was sitting looking out over the city--he was dressed in the clothes of the gods. His age was neither young nor old--I could not tell his age. But there was wisdom in his face and great sadness. You could see that he would have not run away. He had sat at his window, watching his city die--then he himself had died. But it is better to lose one's life than one's spirit--and you could see from the face that his spirit had not been lost. I knew, that, if I touched him, he would fall into dust--and yet, there was something unconquered in the face.

Ellen DeGeneres Goes To The Dogs

I don't watch Ellen DeGeneris so I missed her emotional meltdown the other day:

For those who missed out on her shaggy-dog edition of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," here're the condensed version: DeGeneres and her partner adopted Iggy, an adorable Brussels Griffon mix, on Sept. 20. But Iggy didn't get along the couple's cats, so after giving it the ol' celebrity try (about 10 days?), they decided to give him to DeGeneres's hairdresser and her two daughters. Unfortunately, DeGeneres forgot to tell the pet adoption agency, which requires notification for any change of ownership, and when the agency learned of this transfer, it told DeGeneres she had violated their contract and repossessed the dog.

While unpleasant, this kind of story is hardly unusual. What moves it into the realm of OFF/beat is that DeGeneres spent long, painful chunks of airtime dwelling on her clerical error. "I feel totally responsible for it and I'm so sorry. I'm begging them to give that dog back to that family," she bawled in a near-fetal (albeit seated) position. "It's not their fault. It's my fault. I shouldn't have given the dog away."

As a dog lover, I can relate to how tough it must have been. What I cannot understand, though, is why DeGeneres would bawl her eyes out on national television. And then it hit me like a Great Dane to the chest: damage control.

With her emotional and peremptory elocution, Ellen avoided being mauled by the tabloids and, more important, avoided disappointing her adoring fans. Rather than deny and explain, she confessed and begged forgiveness. And by crying those tears, whether alligator or not, she most likely won over even more fans. Think I'm being too cynical? Watch the video and decide for yourself.

I've adopted a dog from a rescue organization and yes they were extremely thorough -- the application was several pages long, the references were actually checked, we had a home visit. We felt it was excessive, but then we aren't out rescuing dogs. It was made abundantly clear to us that if we were no longer able to keep Trooper, he went back to the agency and no one else. That's the agreement you make to get the dog. Don't like it, get a dog from somewhere else.

But back to Ellen D's meltdown - is it real, or is it for show? I don't know - how would I? On the one hand, it's mighty convient as well as excessive, but on the other, most celebrities seem to have emotional issues that cause them to want the attention of celebrityhood.

The War By Ken Burns II

OK, I'm not the only one disappointed in The War. After watching more episodes, I think what bothers me most is that as a collection of rememberances it's fine, but all that the ground eye views add up to is a bunch of ground eye views. Overall strategy is rarely discussed, and only to point out the flaws. So what you are left with is a litany of horor, and let's face it, it doesn't take long for the litany of war horrors to grow repetative. People die, are horribly maimed, starve, become inured to death and the suffering of others, and just want to kill as many of the enemy as it takes to get them to quit. Oh yeah, generals screw up and don't mind killing almost as many of their own men as the enemy. There, I've summed up the show, except for the part where American soldiers committed atrocities like killing prisoners and civilians and lots of our equipment was substandard.

Why were we fighting? From the show, one would think it was only because the Japanese attacked us. Although, it is informative to discover that even by late 1944 America was growing tired of the enormous casualties (Total American deaths in Iraq and Afganistan wouldn't even be a week's worth of American deaths in late 1944). Surely there must have been more to it than that?

Perhaps it's because my father served on a submarine, but I'm a amazed how the word hasn't even been mentioned yet (U-boat has as the Second Happy Time got it's due). Maybe Mr. Burns doesn't realize that submariners suffered the highest loss rate in the war (which isn't to minimize the losses or the terrible experiences of the infantry) but had a huge impact on Japan's ability to wage war. But by golly, I get to hear half the columns written during the war by some newspaperman who's name I've already forgotten.

With all the material, all the footage, all the time, all the money to work with, it should have been amazing. Instead, it's watchable.

The War By Ken Burns

I'm watching The War, and I have to wonder two things: (1) What kind of makeup are they putting on these people, because they look amazingly young for their eighties (full disclosure, my father who signed up with the Navy in 1942 at the age of 17 aand served on submarines doesn't look near that good), and (2) what kind of nutritional supplemants were the people on, because they remember every last little detail (full disclosure, I haven't talked too much about with my father about his wartime experiences, but he does remember quite vividly two things -- how the Navy screwed him out of two weeks of leave between basic and signalman training, and how much he hated the peacetime Navy following the war -- but his memory doesn't seem near so detailed).

I have time to wonder this because the show alternates between what I like to call action and boredom. Great, I get to see the exact process of recycling a tin can, from removing both ends, to stomping it, to putting it in the tin bin. Can we get back to Gaudalcanal please, before I fall asleep. Marines are dying out there. I'd much rather listen to the guy tell the heartrending story about wishing his best buddy would hurry up and die on Bougainville because the sounds of him dying were keeping him awake than hear about how everybody pitched in on various drives stateside.

The show starts out as the story of 4 American towns in WWII, which is an odd organizational principle, but quickly it doesn't matter. If they need a veteran to tell a story, why they just don't mention what his hometown was. David Inouye is interviewed, and he wasn't from any of the 4 towns, but they wanted a decorated Japanese-American so they got him. The show is an odd hybrid - a mix of on camera remembrance, photos and videos from the time, and voice over from the omniscient narrator. It's kind of like going to the Golden Corral to eat - there's a little of something for everybody, the food is good if uneven, but not outstanding.

I have to say though, one thing comes through loud and clear: war is hell, even if it is just or necessary.

High School Musical 2

If you have fruit of the loins of a certain ripeness, as I do, then you know all about High School Musical -- the name implying all the creativity went into the show with nothing left over for the title. I say the smashing success of the movie is due to its complete lack of irony, edge, or other trendiness and the focus on telling a simple story in song and dance. What a concept.

Tonight Disney is hoping to catch lightning in a bottle twice by bringing everybody back for a second installment. Why yes, my daughter is going to a HSM2 party tonight, which I found last night when she wouldn't let me eat any of the chocolate chip cookies she was cooking for the event. For all I know, I'll be watching it while eating popcorn. I might even enjoy it.

After reading the New York Times hate piece on it, I'm liking my odds of enjoying it a lot better. And I'm thinking the reviewer will enjoy life in general a lot more once they pull the giant pickle out of their ass and stop worrying about what other people think.

For a pickle-less review, we turn to the LA Times whose reviewer got into the spirit of the show. I'm betting the rhythm is going to get all of us watching tonight.

UPDATE:
Apparently 17.2 million viewers tuned in last night, making HSM2 the highest rated basic cable telecast ever, and beating the original by 10 million viewers. I only saw the first half hour, then it was off to walk the dog, and then Monk, which was when I ate my popcorn. My daughter enjoyed the party but her and her friends take was that it wasn't near as good as the original (I believe the word "stank" was used).

All Reality All The Time

I admit it, I watch What Not To Wear, but in my defense, it is only with my wife and daughter. And of course there's How Do I Look, which is similar yet different -- which I also only watch when the female Murphys are around. If it's just me, I watch shows like Dogfights or Modern Marvels, and if it's just the Murphy Men naturally we watch Mythbusters. Somehow I just stopped watching scripted shows except for Monk or comedy reruns.

But back to How Do I Look -- another man watches the show, and given his style sense you'd shouldn't be surprised by another man who does.

Both shows try to impress the importance of taking some pains with your appearance. The subjects are typically women who don't, or who do but in the wrong way (e.g. dress far "younger" than they should). The hosts are pretty blunt about the clothing, makeup, and hairstyling choices but are very supportive of the person themselves - with the goal of minimizing the person's problem areas and maximizing the persons assets. Each episode the hosts first try to teach the subject what kind of clothes are right for them, and then it's off to hair and makeup. When all is done, we have the reveal (yeah, just like home remodeling shows, which have fallen out of favor at chez Murphy recently) and the transformation from wretched to something better.

What I like abou the shows is that the advice is tailored to the person themselves, they use real people so the audience (i.e. my dauther and other impressionable teenagers) are not given unreasonable expectations about appearence, and the point is about helping average people do a better job at presenting themselves and controlling the message their appearence sends. It's not like Extreme Makeover etc. where a whole bunch of surgery is used to transform ugly ducklings into swans. The goal on these shows is to help ugly ducklings turn into ducks by making different appearance choices available to anyone.

The New Reality

My two favorite network TV shows (actually, the only two network TV shows I watch) are back, and with an extra dose of diversity. First up, Survivor is back and as I'm sure you know if you've kept reading past the word Survivor they've divided the contestants by ethnic background. In order to do that, they had to find 5 asian-americans, 5 african-americans, 5 hispanic-americans, and 5 white-americans to appear. They have never had any problems with the white-americans, but they had to recruit extra hard for the others. Interestingly enough the 3 teams that weren't made up of white-americans immediately worried about representing their people, as if 5 random strangers thrown together for the entertainment benefit of all americans really did somehow represent everybody of that ethnic background.

The Amazing Race launched it's tenth season last night and while not explicit, they too seem to have worked overtime to assure diversity. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The problem is that after Survivor voted off a black man, The Amazing Race took only 1 show to get rid of the Moslem AND the Hindu teams - with Phil reminding us when the Moslems got the ax halfway through the show that they promised the contestants surprises. Yeah, like early handicappers were picking those two guys to go all the way.

I suppose it's a sign of progress that a big network like CBS can go out of their way to have minorities suffer embarassing losses on their flagship reality series without worrying about repurcussions.

Book Of Daniel Closes

I never watched the show The Book of Daniel. And now I won't get the chance. The reason I didn't watch it is simple - what little TV I watch regularly these days I watch with the family and the ads didn't depict it as a family kind of show. It's not a deliberate choice BTW - it's simply a fact that if the rest of the family doesn't make it a point to watch a TV show regularly with me, then between my schedule and my memory it doesn't get watched regularly. I was able to watch the first three episodes of Lost and then was I missed a few and then I couldn't follow when I did so that was the end of that.

I'm one of those crazy people who actually watch TV ads. My wife gives me the funniest look if she switches the channel and I protest because "I was watching that ad". Not all of them mind you, just those I think have something I want to see. So the information I got about the show was from the ads, which did make it sound like The Book of Daniel was inspired far more by Desperate Housewives than God. Now, that assessment may not have been the correct one, but quite frankly the ads just screemed I was going to see what a left winger thought was a non-stop laugh riot about some wimpy post-modern pastor. I understand that we are all sinners and we are deeply comprimised. The question is, do we resign ourselves or do we try to rise above. The ads looked like a resigned wallow in the mud to me.

Reality Based Community

No, I'm not talking about politics, I'm talking about something important - reality TV shows.

Page Davis was fired from Trading Spaces. Since the New York Post brought up (again) the rumor that Page Davis made a sex tape years ago, my traffic has spiked. Thank you, Mr. Johnson. I have to say I've always liked Page, and I'm sorry to see her go, but we don't watch the show much in the funMurphy household anymore. It seems as if Christi was the last good designer the show hired, and some of the old good ones don't show up too much any more.

The good news is that the screechers, Victoria and Jonathan were eliminated. As bad as Jonathan was, and he was bad, Victoria would screech back just as I was developing sympathy for her. Oh well, I guess that's why they are a couple. The bad news is that Amber and Boston Rob from survivor are going to be on the next Amazing Race. I didn't notice Amber on her first survivor (or second for that matter), Rob was even more obnoxious on Survivor All Stars than he was on his first time, and frankly I don't want to see them again. Can't you enjoy your money in peace and let me watch my shows in peace? I have to agree with Mr. Denhart:
"This “stunt casting” dilutes the show’s quality. It misses the point that the fun of the show was always watching ordinary people in these situations. And when producers refuse to take action when their cast goes too far, the show suffers."

To think people complained about Terry and Ian.

I'd like to know what Ms. Olsen's budget is and if she owns stock in a pot light manufacturer.

Who'd of ever thunk that watching poker on TV would be enjoyable (well, it's better than watching golf). But celebrity Black Jack? I'm sorry, when it get's real celebrities and loses the goofy voice ove, I'll consider wasting my time watching it.

American Idol is back, and we'll probably watch the audition shows and then a few of the competition shows, but given how crazy the voting was last time, I don't think we can stick it out until the end. If they ever raised the eligibility age to 43, I'd go on and be the only one who, when told they couldn't sing, would say -- "gee, I thought everybody was kidding when they told me I was a lousy singer".

Amazing Race 5 Finale

The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Chip and Kim won because they came in last on the events in Canada and so got on an earlier flight than Colin and Christie, and Brandon and Nicole who's flight was delayed because the fog in Calgary kept their plane from landing the night before. So despite the maniacal efforts of C&Cs taxi driver in Dallas, C&K were able to hold the lead they got from the earlier flight. The two later teams also learned a lesson about airline safety -- you can't fly on a different flight from your bags (unless the airline goofs).

I like Chip -- he just seems like an easy going guy. My wife wasn't happy with him because he lied to Brandon and Nicole, but I thought B&N were being lazy in letting Chip do all the work, and they shouldn't have put that million dollar temptation in front of him. How hard was it to get of the boat and jog over to the route marker? So my hats off to the big guy, and Kim, you're along for the ride just like you were on the show (except for the hike up the mountain to the Continental Divide).

I was happy it just wasn't Colin and Christie who won. Colin doesn't think much of the editing of the show, but I'm sorry, it didn't make up your multiple psychotic episodes. Colin proposed on the Early Show, and Christie accepted. Good luck to both of you, and I hope you never have the unrelenting stress that you experienced during the show.

I was bummed the Bowling Moms didn't make it into the final three, but then they had to face the wall of death. OK, it wasn't exactly that, but being strong and fit sure did help one scale that cliff. Is it just me, or have they increased the difficulty of a lot of the detours, roadblocks, and fastforwards? They always got your heart racing, but it seems that they also require strength, stamina, athleticism, all that stuff I have in such short supply. It was really nice to see a mature team keep up, play smart, and be such nice people.

The amazing thing in this episode is that my wife and I stayed in the hotel at the Calgary airport on our honeymoon. The one that the teams crossed the street from the terminal and then sacked out in some room. We went to Lake Louise for the honeymoon, and spent the first night of our marriage in Calgary.

I thought the finale was pretty taut, with good guys, villains (yes, Colin, I mean you), and some along for the ride (as much as my wife likes Brandon, I find him and Nicole a little, well, clueless). Jenspeaks also liked it, and has much more.

Penultimate Amazing Race 5

Watching Colin rage while trying to plow up a clue in the Phillipines was must see TV. I have to admit it was a guilty pleasure, since I now I can get pretty steamed when frustrated. In Colin's defense (I never thought I'd write that), Christie sure didn't help. If Kim could get down and dirty leading the Ox around (just like the other teams where both members worked together), why couldn't Christie?

Watching them both fume at getting yielded was priceless, but what did they expect? Ther other teams aren't goint to do nothing to stop their string of first places. I have to wonder if the producers didn't derail C&C in Singapore by asking (paying?) the airline to not board them. All that enjoyments was salve for C&C non being eliminated when they came in last. I guess they put those non-elimination legs in the race to pad the show out to the proper length whil keeping the number of teams to a managable level.

Next week we have the 2 hour finale to look forward to. I like 3 out of the 4 teams, and if Colin and Christie do win, at least they've provided a lot of the entertainment value of the show. I have to admit though, my wife is leaning towards the Brandon and Nicole team while I'm hoping for Linda and Karen AKA the bowling moms.

Amazing Racery

Tuesday night I got back from working on the parade float (will Saturday ever come? -- and will there be pictures?) and flopped down too dazed to realize that The Amazing Race was on. Lucky for me, my wife was on top of things and we got to see the twins come in last and get booted off. Yeah! Now I'm only rooting against half a team -- Colin and Christie are the new Flo and Zach.

The most amazing thing this time around is how well the bowling moms are doing -- Go Linda and Karen! The middle-aged lady teams never make it this far. No surprise from Chip and Kim though, when they got to the detour Kim told Chip "you're doing it!" Come on Kim, do more than one thing the whole show. And what was this, Colin behaved himself? Colin was nice to Christie? No screaming fits, no stalking around glaring at people? The scenes from next week promise a big Colin meltdown, so there is that to look forward to.

And what was with the fast forward on last week's show? It just isn't right to have people cut off all their hair as part of the show. At least they had the decency to make it a non-elimination leg, but what were they thinking? It is nothing like the other stuff contestants have had to do in the past and just seemed gratuitously cruel. I'm also getting tired of having the female contestants getting groped on trains in India, but at least that's an unfortunate part of actual travel. Nobody's using the fast forwards this time, so why discourage it with a stupid requirement like that?

It's only a TV show. It's only a TV show. It's only a TV show. Yes, that helps.

Amazing Race 5 Halftime

I have to admit I was disappointed that the last leg was a non-elimination leg on Amazing Race. Here was a chance to eliminate the twins, Kami and Karli, whose collective IQ seems to be lower than their independent IQ. Whenever they seem to just charge off and do something stupid, luck rescues them, whether in the form of Chip taking them where they need to go in Egypt or a non-elimination leg.

Now that the truly obnoxious people are out except for Colin, he seems to be going out of his way to compensate. Maybe there was important footage left on the cutting room floor, but it sure looked like Colin tried to screw a poor taxi driver out of $50 - not a large sum to us, but I'm sure a large sum to a Tanzanian taxi driver. Getting into the taxi he agreed to a $100 fee, and happy to do so over the $150 demanded by the other drivers. Getting out of the taxi, he was inventing conditions like not driving on a spare and arriving in the same position he left. Not content with raving at the driver who went and got a police officer, he went ballistic at the police station and the police officers there. I think that without the camera's rolling, Colin might have suffered a different outcome. What kind of lunatic risks jail in Tanzania over $50 that isn't even his? What kind of women (that means you, Christie) puts up with someone as abusive as Colin? Colin and Christie just make me long for the days of Terry and Ian.

Last week I cheered when Mirna got the boot. It's too bad Charla was partnered with her and so lost as well. Mirna was weak, whiny, bossy, obnoxious, a drama queen, in short, a Flo clone. Charla was the exact opposite. What helped them the most was the combination of Charla's can-do spirit and their language ability. My cousin Linda should go on the show - I think there's still one language out there she doesn't know.

Two weeks ago I cheered when the brothers Marshall and Lance were eliminated, although Mirna and Colin came on strong in the obnoxious department after their departure. And it was too bad that they had to drop out due to one of them having a painful leg injury (OK, I couldn't keep track of which was which). This week would have made it three in a row of teams I dislike being eliminated.

At this point, I wouldn't mind a win by Brandon and Nicole, Chip and Kim, or Linda and Karen. Kami and Karli are too clueless and Colin is far too obnoxious -- including being a complete jerk towards Christie after his meltdown at the police station. Given their track record, I don't think Linda and Karen are going to pull out the victory, although if you get the right taxi driver in the final episode anything is possible. Chip has clearly emerged as the most likable of the contestants still in it, what with Bob and Joyce and Jim and Marsha gone. Kim is pretty quiet and seems content to let Chip do almost everything. Brandon and Nicole are too pretty, but otherwise pretty unexceptional.

Even on the fifth season, we're still all hooked on Amazing Race in the Murphy Family.

Olympic Fouls

I've enjoyed watching the olympics, well a lot of it anyway. The actual competitions - love. The chit chat between, the droning on of "analysts" - hate. One of the interesting things have been the controversies. Nothing new there.

First up we have the controversies in swimming -- did Kosuke Kitajima use an illegal dolphin kick during his race as some American swimmers have claimed (although not the American in the water during the race, Brendan Hansen)? What I love is the way the media acts like this is some unknowable question. Guess what, not only is there underwater video of the event that clearly shows Kitajima did, the announcer at the time pointed it out. Kitajima's claim is that he swims the same way every time, he's never been DQ'ed for it, end of story. The problem with that is, during his next semi-final race NBC compared his turns and showed how he did a dolphin kick during his gold medal performance but didn't during the later race. So much for swim the way every time.

Then one of Kitijima's accusers, Brian Peirsol, was temporarily DQ'ed during his second gold medal performance for an illegal turn -- although the judge wasn't clear enough and his paperwork wasn't in order so he was unDQ'ed. I have to admit I'm not clear on the rules on the backstroke turn, as the little team my kids swim on has trouble with this every year - this year one our 16 year old swimmers was DQ for a turn that "he floated too long" on. Still, there was some question as to whether or not this was payback for Peirsol's complaints about the officials.

And now there's a kerfuffle over the men's all-around in gymnastics: The Koreans are saying their guy was cheated of 0.1 of a point do to a judge's error. Who knows, maybe he'll get a gold medal too.

In a final note, the shotput was kind of crazy too. There was a tie for longest, but because Adam Nelson had fouled on every throw but one, he got the silver medal. He wasn't too happy initially with the officials for calling a foul on the last throw, but he turned out to be a class act in the end, apologizing to the officials after seeing a replay, congratulating the winner Yuriy Bilonog, raving about the fans and facility, and taking the blame squarely on his shoulders during a post event interview despite the NBC interviewers apparent desire for Nelson to blame anything and everybody but himself.

Amazing Race 5

This week the latest Amazing Race debuted. In the first show, you're just getting to know the contestants, but at an hour and a half, I think we got a good look at them. So of course my favorite is the father/daughter team of Jim and Marsha -- they get along, Jim didn't seem to be slowed by the injury to his knee he got from falling at the pier at the start that took 20 something stiches to close, and Marsha is a law student and NFL cheerleader. My least favorite -- the evil humpty dumpty clones Marshal and Lance.

After the Tuetonic partners, Reichen and Chip, won the last race, for the first time CBS doesn't have any gays on the show. Instead, we have a little person, Charla, who's certainly got spunk, and wears better than her cousin Mirna. In past shows, there were always some tough young male teams that did well, but this year forgoes that risk and gives us mostly male/female teams. So far, so good -- only one really annoying team, and no powerhouses you know will be in the top three. But there is still time for a Flo or Ian to emerge.

Speaking of past Amazing Race contestants, the incomperable Kevin and Drew have a show on Discovery (thursday at 9PM CST). I saw most of the first half and it was good: the buddies are at an allegator wrestling farm. The second half they were harvesting cranberries. Apparently they travel around the country in an RV doing odd jobs -- sounds like The Simple Life 2 with funny bald guys instead of annoying spoiled chicks.

American Oblivious Idol

Do I care who wins tonight -- Fantasia or Diana? Nope. Not anymore. We stopped watching American Idol the night Fantasia, La Toya, and Jennifer were in the bottom three. OK, I hope Fantasia wins, but I'm done watching the show. I could barely stand the cruelty (no, not Simon, but getting voted off live); by taping the show and fast forwarding I could cut out all the filler; but I couldn't take the bizzare results.

Instead, we watch Oblivious on Tuesday nights. It's the game show you don't even know you're on, and my wife wants to be a contestant. The host does wacky stuff to somebody while he slips in five questions - for every right answer, you get $20. The contestant from the first segment goes on to do wacky stuff and ask five questions of some other poor rube, and for every right answer, they get $100. Like many good cable shows, it's based on a British show. The fun isn't in the questions, but the wacky stuff. I'm amazed that often the contestant who is the most uptight while a contestant is the wackiest as the questioner. So if you're looking to watch something Tuesday nights now that Idol is (thankfully) over, tune in to Oblivious on Spike TV 8-10 PM CDT. You won't regret it.

Is It Worth It?

So Amber won Survivor All-Stars last night. The biggest surprise is that she was even an All-Star since she was just Jerry's shadow on Survivor Australia and had no detectable personality. I have to say that the last seven weeks or so the Murphy Family tuned into the show, and then sat in stunned un-silence as once again neither Rob nor Amber were voted off. These were All-Stars? They were more like the zombies in the first season who didn't seem to realize they were playing a game.

Usually I enjoy the interview show after the winner was announced, but this year it wasn't as good. First, the audience was a pain in the neck - this is live TV people and we only have an hour, so shut-up! Second, the whole "my feelings were hurt" story line - gosh, somebody lied to my face, can you believe it? And that makes me agree with Shi Ann, something I don't want to do. What I disliked about Rob is (1) that he was a lousy player and should have been bounced a long time ago and (2) he was such a smug, arrogant SOB on TV. Third, Richard Hatch loves the limelight too much, and generally the less of Richard the better.

I hate to say it, but Susan didn't seem that much different, if only because everybody (the women especially) looks so much different than when starving on a beach in the middle of nowhere (heck, Jenna the single mom was unrecognizable with make up on). What is it with Ethan not wanting anyone to know he's dating Jenna the swimsuit/Playboy model?

I hope they don't do another Survivor All-Stars again. I'd rather see a show of those voted out at the first few tribal councils - Survivor Second Chance or Survivor We Hardly Knew You.

TV Nation

I don't know if our habits are normal, but we don't watch much network TV in the Murphy Family. The Fruit of the Murphy Loins tend to stick with the kid chanels - Nickelodeon, Disney, and Cartoon Network being their Big Three. The Fearless Leaders watch a lot of Style, TLC, and HGTV. Over time our shows have varied - we watch a lot less Room by Room or Design on a Dime and a lot more House Hunters and Devine Design. We'd watch more Dreamhouse if it could keep to a regular schedule. The only normal show we watch on any station is Monk, and it isn't that normal -- including the shortest season ever. (I don't consider what, four shows, a real season, but what choice do I have?)

The only network shows we make it a point to see are Survivor and American Idol. Yeah, I know, how trendy of us. But other than that you have a slew of unfunny comedies (outside of King of Queens) and the dramas seem to be part of either the Law and Order franchise or the CSI franchise, and quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of doctor and lawyer shows. And neither my wife or I are all that happy with Survivor All Stars or American Idol 3.

The competition in American Idol 3 is between Fantasia and LaToya. I don't think anyone else is in the running, but it will be months of too long shows before we find out. And I'm still miffed that Scooter Girl didn't make the cut, that the blonde cheerleader didn't make the cut, and that Amy Adams got voted out so early. I'm having trouble with the cruelty as well - no not Simon - but the whole finding out you lost live on national TV - I thought it was especially bad on the wild card show when so many had to leave. Speaking of Simon, he's trying too hard with those analogies and too often they just don't make sense. I can't abide most of the celebrity judges: Quentin Tarrantino was just annonying. I don't know how much longer we'll be watching.

Survivor is an odd show, and All Stars is even odder. What I enjoy about Survivor is the study of human nature it provides. What the players don't seem to appreciate is that it is the triumph of the mediocre (and lucky). The first half, the teams vote out the weak sisters (like Sonja) or the too annoying (like hole man Peter). The second half, the stronger are voted out by the weaker, and then the winner is the one who pissed off the fewest of the jury. How else do you account for winners like Tina, Vecepia, or Sondra? The classiest winner was Ethan, and the strongest winner was Brian, whose people manipulation skills are unrivaled on the show. Compare him to Rob C or Johny Fairplay - not only was he far better at challanges, he ran the game so smoothly that people trusted him even after they were voted off -- and he still barely beat Clay, one of the more annoying Survivor players. I think he is a sociopath, but he was a great player.

That brings us to Survivor All Stars - where a lot of the players know each other already. So the prior winners were dispatched first. Players were quitting left and right. And then Lex was too smart by half and started playing the end game before the opening game was over - eliminating stronger rivals during the team play which just killed his team. When his team didn't vote out Amber when it had the chance I made my displeasure known quite forcefully (and the rest of the family let me know about their displeasure). So I wasn't too surprised when he got the ax. The thing is, even when Lex played like an idiot, I still liked the guy. But I can't stand Boston Rob. And by the looks of things, the next few weeks of Survivor will be featuring his smirk quite promenently. We may miss a few weeks.

A Simple Life

Reality TV started with people trying to get rich - at least on Network TV. Now the trend is portraying rich people - as long as they're young and beautiful (and stupid). Hey, that standard isn't much different than the rest of TV. Paris Hilton (in video that can be shown on network TV) and Nicole Richie get to spend some time down on the farm in Arkansas while we get to yuk it up at their expense (and if we stay tuned to ogle, Fox won't mind a bit). MTV will showcase their poor little (yet somehow gorgeous) rich girls on the creatively titled "Rich Girls", while HBO will add boys to the mix in their "documentary", Born Rich. So if you're rich, beautiful, and stupid you can get your own TV show. If you're just stupid, you'll have to settle for a brief "Jaywalking" bit with Leno.

Trading Spaces Omnibus

Trading Spaces is so successful, it has spawned not only countless imitators but its own spin off, Trading Spaces Family, a bunch of books (yes, I've read Trading Spaces Behind the Scenes and enjoyed it), and various special versions (like last years live reveal and this years $100,000 episode).

So first up, let me say I do like Trading Spaces Family. I don't know if it's just chance, but it seems to be the only place you can see Vern anymore. My wife and I are very tempted to apply, as the whole Murphy Family likes the show, but fear of Hildi and Rick keep us back. Having the kids on and involved gives the show a nice touch, and it tends to be more laid back than the regular version. I think Carter Oosterhouse's breezy affability works well on the show, especially with the kids (let's face it, Ty would scare them), and while he's a hunk, he's an approachable one - the klutziness helps. I'm not wild about Joe Farrell, but he too brings the right level of laid back to the show. I did enjoy the episode where Paige dropped in because the young girl idolized her. I also enjoyed the show where Paige showed up in workout attire - she's got better abs than Ty!

I've come to like Christi Proctor - great personality, generally good designs. I wasn't wild about putting butcher paper on the wall on an early episode, but I loved putting the cowboy silhouettes with it (even though the HO hated it).

I've come to hate (along with most fans) Rick Rifle - and I'll note that he isn't listed in the crew section with the other designers on the TLC site. Despite Hildi's awful designs, she has a certain elegance and style, wheras Rick is just as unpleasant personally as his designs are aesthetically.

OK, I know that Doug and Hildi aren't secretely married - she's hitched to some French count or something. Perhaps Dougs hesitant kissing (as I discussed earlier) wasn't due to his orientation but due to his fear of ending up stuffed and mounted over some mantle in the Loire Valley. He did flirt shamelessly with a couple of gals in the first episode of season 4, and once again got an onscreen kiss but this time without looking like he was kissing a dead fish.

I, along with America, was disappointed in the "they hated it" specials as I thought I going to see mostly new stuff with some flashback, and instead got the old episode with a trifle tacked on to the end. The only good part was that I was in Las Vegas at the time and so I only had to watch the tape. Still, I have to admit I enjoy watching the crying lady reveal - perhaps because she and her husband were so honest about it - sometimes I swear the people are being polite when they say they like it.

The 100 grand episode was pretty cool - much more of the behind the scenes stuff, and it only felt slightly padded at 2 hours. Heck, the ads alone were worth it - no matter how many times I saw it, I still loved Ty's expression at the end. I thought Doug did a great job on his, although I'm still not clear why the countertop had to be glacier white and still remain under budget; Laurie did her usual job (I think I'd have a heart attack if she did a purple or blue room without any green, yellow or orange anywhere) but you had to wonder where the 50 grand went. The room was crammed full of stuff, mostly ultra expensive furnature and draperies that don't look any better than the cheap stuff on TV. It's hard to spend 50 grand on a living room, especially when the electronics are thrown in for free by Sony. And they did spend money on hiring crews to do the work - when you gut a kitchen and put in a new floor, new cabinets etc. two people can't do it in two days. I think Home Depot got their money's worth in advertising, too. The premise of the 100 grand episode lacks appeal on a regular basis, so let's hope they don't do it more than once.

OK, one last thing. Is that Paige Davis' real husband in the Enterprise Leasing ads? Enquiring minds want to know!

High King Of Geekdom

How's this for embarrassing geekiness. Doug and Hildi from Trading Spaces were on an episode of Pyramid (hosted by Donny Osmond) the other day. My wife taped it, and I watched it. In its entirety. And I enjoyed it. And it made me wonder - why Doug and Hildi - are they really secretly married???

Oh Yeah, Trading Spaces has added a new carpenter, Carter Oosterhouse- even better looking than Ty (although we haven't seen him without his shirt on), but he isn't as comfortable on camera, nor does he have his own website yet. And they're doing a new version: Trading Spaces Family. Just what I need - another way to waste time.

Clay or Reuben?

While I spent most of the evening playing ball with The Fruit Of The Murphy Loins^TM last night, we did come in to watch part of American Idol. So now its come down to Clay and Reuben. Neither of them is my cup of tea (my favorite, Vanessa, is long gone), but they both are great singers. My wife tried to vote for Clay -- she thinks Reuben just sings the same song all the time -- but couldn't get through for three hours. Welcome to American, the land of instant celebrity. It isn't about being the best singer in America, just the best known.

Band Of Brothers

The story of E Company, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne experiences in World War II makes for interesting reading. Band of Brothers starts in July of 1942 with the formation of the unit and continues through November 1945 when it was deactivated and finishes with accounts of the postwar careers of some of the soldiers. Mainly concerned with the combat experiences of the men who made up the unit, it also details the training and the personal responses to the intensity of combat. The book has the feel of a biography, but the biography of a group of men rather than just a single one.

Even though Steven Ambrose was a history professor, he writes accessible books. Having seen several of interviews of him, I find it hard not to hear his gruff and gravely voice when reading his works. If his greatest strength was his ability to tell the personal stories of people who made history, his greatest weakness is his lack of providing the larger context. This is not a history of any of the campaigns the 101st fought; it is the grunt eye view of the battles. The book is woefully short of maps and those that are present are small and not very helpful.

Ambrose interviewed the soldiers who made up Easy company in the early 1990s and weaved those interviews into the narrative of the book. He points out that often the men gave contradictory accounts and he had to synthesize what he felt to be the most likely version; sometimes he points out where those accounts differ.

Since I've never been in combat, I can't say how well Ambrose captures the experience. But he seems to do a good job. There are plenty of interesting nuggets: The men who parachuted into Normandy and stormed an artillery battery that was raining down death and destruction on Utah beach were going into combat for the first time and took risks that as veterans they would never do again; the men of Easy Company liked the Brits, didn't like the French whom they found to be ungrateful, lazy, and dirty, loved the Dutch whom they found to be brave, resourceful, and grateful, and felt closest to the Germans who seemed to the G.I's to be "just like us."

You don't have to be a history buff or a military enthusiast to enjoy the book, but it certainly helps.

As seen on Blogcritics

A Shameful Moment Of Weakness

I have a terrible confession to make. Last night not only did I watch part of American Idol, I actually dialed the phone and voted for Vanessa. Why did I do such a terrible thing? Well, she actually sang the notes of her song, and didn't warble all over the place, and when Simon told her that, as a compliment, she should lose a few pounds, her reaction was priceless. While she waggled her butt in the faces of America (and the judges) she told us how she had a booty like J Lo. I've seen J Lo's booty, and Vanessa, yours is nothing like it. But you got style, and that's better than J Lo's booty, or J Lo's body. When you sat on the couch with Ryan and recounted the experience by flashing two thumbs up, giving a big smile, and saying "you're fat!" I knew I had to vote for you.

American Idol

I didn't watch the show the first time, and I doubt I'll watch it much this time. Since I happen to live in America, I heard plenty about it the first time. And I have managed to catch a few of the open audition episodes this time around. Frankly, I don't see the attraction. You have people with a wide range of talent, from good to really, really awful (people who's singing is worse than mine, and that's saying a lot) and then three judges react. I don't know what the big deal is about Simon Crowell, he's not just being honest, he's trying to do these people a favor. Some of the contestants honestly don't seem to realize just what terrible singers they are - a candy coated rejection will keep them hanging on to their misperception. Much better to give them an honest appraisal, and be brutal to those who think they can sing when they can't. I wouldn't have thought that until I saw people who, after demonstrating their clear inability to carry a tune in a bucket, want to argue that they are talented singers. You need a two by four to get the attention of a mule; you need brutality to get the attention of the self-delusional.

The Superbowl Misnamed Again

The game, as usual, was a lopsided contest of little interest to anyone who wasn't a Buccaneer or Raiders fan. The officiating, as usual, was spotty with some poor calls. But since the Raiders only decided to actually bother to play hard for a quarter or so, it didn't matter. U2's half time show last year is going to be hard to beat, and this year's sure didn't. A couple of years ago we had N'Synch singing along with Aerosmith for a delightfully bizarre specatacle, this year we got blah. OK, Shania tried her darnedest with those dominatrix boots, but a Gwen Stefani - Sting duet in 2003 is bland indeed. Sadly, the commercials were unusually poor with only a few good ones, no great ones, and plenty of dull ones. At least some of the ones during the dot com craze were spectacularly awful; this time around, the bad ones didn't even emit a decent stink. I'd rather get an unintentional laugh than a shrug.

Trading Spaces: Live Reveal

In typical fashion, before I get to the live reveal, I have a few comments about the other Trading Spaces episode that aired before the live reveal show, which I'll get to first, just to build suspense. And before I tackle that, I'll just mention that I'm just now getting around to blogging about a show that aired 4 days ago. I know this is the internet with its own faster time, but I'm not one to get up from the couch and run upstairs to the computer immediately following a TV show. Unless, of course, I'm going to play Civilization III or Diablo II.

Early in this season, my wife and I wondered if Hildi was still on the show. Every episode, we'd turn to each other after the designers were announced and say "still no Hildi". And since the claim was that Kia and Edward were replacing Laurie on maternity leave, maybe, just maybe, they were also replacing Hildi. No such luck. We've now had a steady diet of Hildi - including the London show with the awful Handy Andy. Too bad she didn't stay behind, but she's back. She continues her signature of wacky wall coverings - straw, records, flowers, and now wine bottle labels. NO MAS, NO MAS HILDI. She took a pretty good kitchen and turned it into the black hole of Calcutta. Laurie was her usual good self, but what was the deal with that top? Yeah, I always dress up in some expensive shirt with long dangling sleeves and no shoulders to do home improvement projects. My wife thought she was tired of being a Mom and wanted to be elegant Laurie again. And this was another episode where they get done and you say to yourself, what cost a thousand bucks in those rooms?

OK, now the Live Reveal. First off the kiss. I get quite a few hits (for me, anyway) on this site from search engines of people looking for the sexual orientation of various cast members, and Doug Wilson is one of the people often inquired about. I have no idea, and I try not to speculate, but after the kiss between Hildi and Doug, well, let me just leave it at that. I thought given the time pressure, the designers would try to keep it simple. Hah, shows what I know. I wonder if they kept to a thousand a room budget on this one. I think they both decided to go for very bold designs to spark some reaction during the live reveal. Doug continues to use Venetian Plaster. He must know how to do it right, or is expecting a different effect, because the time I did it, well, you can paint right over it and we did get a refund. Maybe the secret's in the wax. He pulled the design from Doug's cliche's -- browns, blues, chrome, and striking. I hate to say it, I did kind of like the room.

I was surprised by the celebrity cameos. Even if Trading Spaces is a hit, it still is a hit on a cable network, and it shows with the celebrities. Having Robin Leach was perfect and since he was first, a real surprise. Penn and Teller were good, the Elvis impersonator was OK, and Rita Rudner was terrible. What was the point - did she live in the neighborhood?

Hildi, Hildi, Hildi. Well, I'm glad the room wasn't a bedroom, or you couldn't sleep at night. She bought a print (in London, of course) of Escher meets Mr. Psychedelic and then tried to make the room match. She actually did a good job, so if you think a physchedelic Escher living room (minus the stream running up a waterfall) is good, you'd like the room. (Kia would have tried to add the stream running up a waterfall, despite her failure with the pyramid fountain). Doing it live actually worked, even if it was a gimmic. Both sets up homeowners, despite their bug eyed initial reactions, claimed to like the rooms. The reveals seemed to go on for longer than usual, and it was nice to see Doug, Hildi, and Amy Wynn run out at the end. I think we were all secretly hoping for a good cry or hissy fit, but had to settle for jokes about stripper poles and cries of "look, a mottled purple ceiling!"

Amazing Race 3 - The End

The Race is over, and Flo and Zach won. After Zach carried Flo, not letting her quit in the second to last leg, she should give him all the money. I suppose one of the things I like about the show is how its about people in pressure situations. And Flo crumpled like a cheap suit whenever the going got tough, while Zach not only had to deal with the situation, but with a crybaby five year old in a woman's body. You have to wonder what Flo thinks when watching the show - does she cringe right along with us? Hopefully my wife will tape the interview on the Morning Show so I can clutter up my mind with more trivia, oops I mean find closure on the whole sorry spectacle.

It would have been nice if Ken and Gerard had won, as they seemed to be a couple of nice guys; I would have been OK with Terry and Ian who, to my amazement, got better and nicer as the race went on. It ground down some of the teams (see Flo), but Terry and Ian seemed to get stronger and nicer as the race went on. Yes, they had annoying tics (hey Ian, just once couldn't you have put on your reading glasses and read the clue?), but he did stop wearing that goofy hat, he cut back on the yelling and bellowing, he did the road blocks instead of making Terry do them, and they did far better than any other married couple on the show -- the marrieds have had a pretty dismal performance record. Instead, we got uber-geek Zach -- the headband and light was even more annoying than Ian's goofy hat -- and crybaby Flo (an even odder couple than Oscar and Felix). The race isn't always to the swift blah blah blah life isn't fair yada yada yada there's always next season.

I like all the home improvement shows in part because I'd like to improve my house into a mansion, but I don't have the money so I'm contented to do so vicariosly through TV strangers. I like to travel, so it's fun to watch a show with all the travel in it that Amazing Race has. The contestants have all the stress, I actually get to enjoy the sights and sounds, but unfortunately they get the experience (and the money).

The race part is fun, but lets face it, there is a huge element of luck to it. Often elemination or victory comes down to the taxi driver, or the helpful stranger on the street. The format constantly levels the playing field as the participants bunch at airports or locations that have set operating hours. It makes for good TV as no lead is permanent; really it isn't one big race, but thirteen separate ones. That's enough analysis - it's only a TV show.

Penultimate Amazing Race 3

I'll have to put up with Flo's yelling and complaining for another 2 hours. Why couldn't Zach still be stuck in the line at customs? Why couldn't John Vito and Jill have made it this far? There was a couple that knew the value of silence. Is it just me, or are Terry and Ian arguing less as the race goes on? Maybe they are too tired or something, but they seem to be working much better together - Ian's actually stepping up to do the road blocks and such. Since Terry showed us her paper undies, they've been a whole different team. My wife for some strange reason was bummed that the twins got eliminated. That leave me with Ken and Gerard, the other brothers, to root for. Actually, with Aaron and Ariane gone, the only person I can't root for is Flo. Next week, the the grand finale.

The Amazing Race 11/26

We watched the Amazing Race right after getting home from Harry Potter. It was one of the better episodes, as the teams were bunched together the whole time, and it went to a couple of places my wife and I have been - the Rheinfalls, and Grindelwald. Before kids, we had the opportunity to take a tour in Europe, and we did. We started in London, crossed the channel to Belgium, took a cruise down the Rhine river, visited the Rheinfalls, spent a couple of days in Lucerne, got off the bus and spent a week in Interlaken, Switzerland, got back on the bus and went to Paris, returned to London and flew home. So it was a lot of fun to see the teams at the Rheinfalls, get our photo album out, and show the kids that their parents did some fun things when they were young. The first day in Interlaken we went to the Jungfraujoch which is a railway station on top of the Jungfrau, the mountain two over from the Eiger. On the train ride up, you stop and look out a window in the Eiger. Here is a picture of the two Murphy Fearless Leaders atop the observatory atop the Jungfrau:

After we went up the Jungfrau, we came back down to Grindalwald, which sits at the foot of the Eiger, and spent a delightful afternoon. It was neat to see the contestants running through Grindalwald, and when they were going down the main street all crowded with shops, it brought back happy memories. As the contestants ran past, I recognized the hotel where we sat out on the terrace and ate soup while relaxing and admiring the view; they surely went past the little shop where I bought the deer leather dress shoes. One thing the show hasn't protrayed is how unstandard the plumbing is in Europe. By that I mean in the US, when it's time to flush, the handle is obvious and located in the same spot everytime. In Europe, the handle was rarely obvious and never in the same place twice. More than once I had to walk away from an unflushed urinal because I couldn't figure out how to flush it. It's the simple things in life.

OK, time for a snarky comment - what's Flo thinking? She's annoying, whiny, complaining, Zach puts up with her for no apparent reason, but Drew gets her all hot? Honey, you'll see the difference the first time you come between Drew and his mirror.

Trading Spaces, Again

Trading Spaces may have left town, but I can still see it every Saturday night, or via tape delay Sunday afternoon. This week’s episodes provided a double helping of Doug, with sides of Frank and Kia. Doug does great theme rooms that are often impractical. This time, both rooms were great, and practical too. In the White Room, the HOs (Home Owners) wanted a brighter living room. And boy, did they get one - everything, including the brick fireplace and ceiling fans, was painted white. Some artwork, a mirror, and brightly colored pillows on the new white sofas were the only non-white elements. I really liked the look, but I wouldn’t illuminate that room too strongly for fear of snow blindness.

The other room Doug turned a family room into a cozy lodge room. They Venetian plastered the walls, which we paid close attention to since we’re wanting to do it in our bathroom and stairway. When Doug asked the HOs helping him what they wanted to see in the room, they replied “Does it matter?” They’ve obviously seen Doug before. Later though, they kept complaining, especially about putting the top coat on the plaster. Doug finally told them that they could stop if they wanted, but he was putting the top coat on with or without them because he thought it was worth it. He also had Amy Wynn build this gorgeous rough hewn armoire (not four words I normally put together).

Frank took a cluttered, mish mash of a country room and turned it into a slightly less cluttered, mish mash of a country room with much nicer pieces. And Kia -- ugh! -- the HO’s (both sets even) had it right when they said it looked like a graveyard. She wanted a bed of flowers, so she covered an astroturf “coverlet” with cheap plastic flowers for the bed. The room was repainted in bright (some might say vibrant, I would say garish) colors, she threw in a swing and a brightly painted doll house, and managed to achieve a psychedelic graveyard, an effect not much in demand these days. The HO said she loved it (her friend was silent), showing that there is no accounting for taste.

The fate of Kia will tell us about the direction of Trading Spaces. She’s done two amazingly awful designs. If she stays on the show, the producers are indicating they want more train wrecks. If she leaves, it means they want design quality.

Survivor Thailand, Episode 4

Yea! - Ghandia got voted off. I thought she should have been the first. I follow the simple rule that if you screw up and cause the team to lose a challenge, you should be the one to go. Simple, safe, effective. In the first immunity challenge, her team had a lead going into the puzzle she had to solve. Well, she freaked, and Jed (Jed!) beat her easily, so in my simple world she should have walked the plank, not the preacher man. Who cares if he rubbed people the wrong way - the first part of survivor is all about winning the challenges, period. And Ghandia didn't just lose challenges, she was the center of dissention and divisiveness for her team, she was an "it's all about me" person. They had their chance two weeks ago, but they threw out throw up girl instead.

And the whole Ghandia/Ted controversy should have ended when she accepted his apology. If what he did was inexcusable, she should have said so, and if she had second thoughts later, she should have gone to Ted first about them. But no, she had to start playing the second phase of the game before the first was finished, and after accepting his apology, started stabbing him in the back with the girls. She turned it into girls vs. guys for their team.

So long Ghandia, and I'm sure you're team thanks your for all the help.

Trading Spaces - Doug Interview

The lameness continues. Doug Wilson was interviewed this morning on local radio station different from Frank. I didn’t get to hear too much of it, but they had listeners call in and ask questions. When I tuned in, the caller must have accused him of laziness, because he was talking about how the show is entertainment, and while all the staff are competent at what they do, you play a role on it. He said do your really think I sat around in that Adirondack chair for two days, telling the home owners what to do? He also said that he has to spend most of the first day winning the home owners over so that we can have lots of fun the second day. The hosts said they originally were supposed to have Paige Davis on, but that they were happy Doug made it because he was so much fun.

I also came across the safari room homeowner's site. Enjoy.

Trading Spaces - Interview with Frank

How lame am I?

I'm so lame I call my wife from the gas station to tell her Frank is going to be on the radio in 20 minutes. I'm so lame I sit in my car listening to an interview with Frank Bielec in the parking lot at work. Frank is one of the designers on Trading Spaces, which is in town filming three episodes that should air in November. They filmed in O'Fallon, they are currently filming in Kirkwood (my hometown), and then they will film at Scott AFB (on the Illinois side of the river). Several weeks ago I was telling my mother about the show (my parents don't get cable) and she said a lady at her beauty salon was going to be on the show. At the time, I was yeah, right Mom. I still can't believe Kirkwood is going to be on the show (and I hate it when she's right). A coworker of my wife said she ran into Ty at Schnuck's (the number 1 grocery chain in St. Louis) over the weekend.

A local TV news channel even did a feature about the show - unfortunately I missed it. I didn't realize it, but they get a lot of fans hanging out during the show. Frank said they don't mind because they are quiet during the outdoor filming. According to the interviewer, Ty took his shirt off when filming in Kirkwood the other day and ladies poured out of their mini-vans for a closer look. Frank joked that while Ty only has six-pack abs, he has the whole case. When asked about his own house, Frank says his wife does all the decorating and that the walls are all white, or shades of white. He finds it very soothing. In response to a question about how to get on, Frank mentioned requirements about parking and electrical capacity etc. , and John Ulett said in that case the Unibomber shack wouldn't be on, to which Frank replied "I'd like to see what Doug would do with that!"

Trading Spaces

We watched Trading Spaces last night - yeah, what an exciting life we lead. They were a couple of good episodes, and new too (that always helps in a TV show). In the first one Doug was Doug and had an over-the-top redesign of a small bedroom as "the Safari room" -- going for the feel of an tropical hut. Zebra striped walls, palm trees, bambo ceiling grid and headboard, and a scavanged wood table. When his team objected, Doug gave a vintage Doug response: why bother complaining when you are only going to lose the argument. At the reveal, the wife said she didn't know whether to kiss Doug, or hit him. Apparently, she made up her mind as they redid the room themselves pronto, removing all trace of Doug, and if you're quick you can go buy the stuff on ebay. Frank, however, wasn't Frank as he didn't do country and he didn't write anything on the walls. It was actually a pretty good job, with a very cool ceiling painted to look like a kid's imagination of the night sky. He even put up a new ceiling fan (replacing a bare bulb), and when Ty broke it with his drill, I was worried for Frank's blood pressure. Apparently Ty went a bought another with his own money to replace it.

The second episode had two great designs, one with the new designer Edward, and the other with old standby and fan favorite Vern. Edward turned a nightmarish floral master bedroom into a really great looking master bedroom, and putting beading up at the wall ceiling joint is now clearly an Edward custom. (I'd go on, but the redesign cannot adequately be described in words, by me at any rate. Not that it was indescribably good, just that I lack the proper vocabulary.) Not to be outdone, Vern redid a completely blah room into a fantastic boy's bedroom with the theme of planes, trains, and automobiles. He went with blue on blue colors, suspended a working railroad track and a motorcycle swing from the ceiling, added a working stoplight to the wall, stenciled and hung toy airplanes from the ceiling, and built a race car bed complete with matching bedding, and a storage bin in the shape of the hood of the car with working headlights and matching racing stripes. The room wasn't just outstanding for a kid -- grown men would kill for a bedroom like that (not that they would get it if they were married, though).