Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: How do you get holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist
Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Q: What is a zebra?
A: 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: Where do you get virgin wool from?
A: Ugly sheep.
Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
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This page last updated 22 April 2001