Subject: A Few Questions

Dear Jon,

I have to say that you are really writing some great columns these days. In the future, when the great critics gather to debate your work, they'll dub this period your vintage years.

Congratulations on your daughter's wedding.

And now, I have some questions for you.

When you get your email and see kevinmurfy@aol.com in the "from" column do you
(a) recognize the name and think "good, a funny break from reality",
(b) recognize the name and think "how long is this bozo going to keep hounding me",
(c) say to yourself "I wonder who this could be from", or
(d) say to yourself "this better be some porno spam!"?


When you get a fawning email saying how great you are, do you
(a) say to yourself "how dull, another fawning letter",
(b) put it in a file with others to show to management the next time you ask for a raise,
(c) show it to your wife and say "A writer as gifted as me shouldn't be demeaned by doing handyman work around the home", or
(d) say to yourself "gee, it's too bad it wasn't porno spam!"?

When you get an email deriding you for some imagined fault (this is a hypothetical question), do you
(a) say to yourself "how dull, another derisive letter",
(b) say to yourself "good, I need to be kept grounded",
(c) write a flamer back and sign it Jon "Kickin' Ass" Carroll complete with graphic of bucking donkey with hooves of fire, or
(d) say to yourself "why couldn't it have been porno spam!"?

And finally, when you get porno spam, do you
(a) delete it before reading it and think "how long are these bosoms going to keep hounding me",
(b) save it for some night when your wife is out with the girls and you need to "do some research for the column",
(c) put it in a file with others to show to management the next time you ask for a raise, or
(d) show it to your wife and say "A man who is so zealously pursued by foxy babes shouldn't be demeaned by doing handyman work around the home!"?

I anxiously await your reply.

Kevin Murphy

I don't actually notice the email address too much; i just respond to content. i like praise just like anyone likes praise; i try to stay open to criticism. And for some reason i get zero porno spam -- mostly people wanting to increase my website traffic.