We here at The Murphy NexusTM are always on the lookout for innovative uses of the wild and wacky thing we call the World Wide Web. We feel a positive devotion to improving the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of our faithful readers.

Well, we've come up with an idea so brilliant, we can barely contain ourselves. But before we implement this revolution in connectedness, we thought we should check with you to make sure we aren't so far ahead of our time that no one will want to use it.

We want to offer a service for all you women who want a male presence without all the odor and expanse of hairy white skin. We want to bring you streaming audio snorring, live over the internet! The same technology that allows you to listen to the radio on your computer over the internet will allow us to play the sounds of real live masculine snorring right into your own bedroom at night (if that's where your computer is, anyway).

What is more soothing than the sound of some great heap of testosterone soaked masculinity sawing off logs? Do you want a boyfriend without doing his laundry? Do you want a husband who never goes on a business trip or stays out late with the boys? Do you want a man who can last all night long?

Well, let us provide Virtual Man© just for you. No more sleepless nights with Virtual Man© on the job! And if you want, you can crank it up and keep the neighbor's dog awake! So please, act now and email us to let us know just how much you are willing to pay for this ground breaking service!

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This page last updated 8 May 1998
Contents copyright Kevin Murphy 1998. All rights reserved.