Welcome to the 1/2/97 edition of the Online Murphy Times where we chronicle the continuing adventures of that intrepid Murphy Family as they cope with modern suburban life.
As always, please E-Mail us here at firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember, all such E-Mail will become the sole property of the Murphy Family and will not be returned, even if you say "please". It will, however, be replied to -- so don't say I didn't warn you.
In this edition (1/2/97) we find the Murphy Fearless Leader reveling in his Christmas Holiday, the Other Murphy Fearless Leader saving the day, and the Fruit of the Murphy Loins still enjoying the whole Christmas season. Starting with this, our third issue, our links section has grown so large that it requires its own page.
After much thought, our editorial board has decided to take outside submissions for this newsletter. You can email us with your article or other submission. We are also considering maintaining an email directory of family and friends, so if you would like to be included, please email us with your address - even if we already have it, so we know its okay to include it.
MERRY CHRISTMASand a
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Kevin is enjoying his two week holiday at Christmas. McDonnell Douglas, as a private employer, is still able to call it the Christmas shutdown, and not the winter shutdown, or the Holiday shutdown, or some other bland name in keeping with Church of Meteorology which is the one established religion of public schools. He is now the favorite of the Fruit of the Murphy Loins who want him to read to them at bed time and to sit next to him at meals (when asked why, Erin said "because you have a big belly." She may just be trying to curry favor with the Big Guy in Red, but she isn't making any points with her father.) Still, with Denise working many of the days, it is not all wine and roses as Kevin struggles with being Mr. Mom and wanting a holiday and wanting to get a few (very few) things done. He has been able to do a few (hardly any) things - mounting Kyle's new coat rack, playing Warcraft II via modem with his brother Sean (whose Christmas Newsletter mentions the Online Murphy Times), and nothing else. Yet, there is something nice about spending time with family, especially when they are in the same house but a different room.
Christmas was here! The Big Guy in Red made his appearance, well, not really an appearance. I mean, he came and left and left. Toys. Clothes. Stuff. He brought the baby twins. He brought the fire truck. He brought the binoculers, and the fanny pack. So much toys, clothes, and stuff that it couldn't all be played with, worn, and investigated all in one day. For the next few days, any departure from the house was regretted and Papa was frequently asked "when are we going back home?" At last, though, cooler heads prevailed (Denise's) and field trips were allowed. Ice skating at Queeny park. Bowling with the Paynes. Taking the Christmas tree to be recycled (the Murphy Family is nothing if not environmentally friendly and politically correct in every way.) Erin's enjoyment of skating was complete when she skated with her friend Rachel from school. Kyle's enjoyment of skating lasted up to the point where he got onto the ice whereupon all that slipping and sliding caused him to get back off while muttering "I'm too little." Erin's enjoyment of bowling waxed and waned with the number of pins she knocked down. Kyle's enjoyment of bowling steadily dwindled until he would no longer bowl and any prompting would lead to the remark "I'm too little." We will quickly note here that Dave won the hour and a half marathon (computerized bowling alley bells and whistles showed that the kid's bowling ball speeds where in excess of 3 miles an hour as they whistled down the lane,) beating Kevin by 13 pins. We will not provide the actual scores as the Online Murphy Times has an express, written policy about embarassing anyone mentioned (especially when that person is the head of the Times Editorial Board.) Yes, Christmas came and went, leaving behind all its many joys.