It's supposed to be a monkey wrench

Welcome to the 1/26/97 edition of the Online Murphy Times where we chronicle the continuing adventures of that intrepid Murphy Family as they cope with modern suburban life.

Hey, why don't you Email?

As always, please E-Mail us here at Remember, all such E-Mail will become the sole property of the Murphy Family and will not be returned, even if you say "please". It will, however, be replied to -- so don't say I didn't warn you.

In this edition (1/26/97) we find the Murphy Fearless Leader trekking across the frozen tundra, the Other Murphy Fearless Leader thinking warm thoughts, and the Fruit of the Murphy Loins having fun with winter.

After much thought, our editorial board has decided to take outside submissions for this newsletter. You can email us with your article or other submission. We are also considering maintaining an email directory of family and friends, so if you would like to be included, please email us with your address - even if we already have it, so we know its okay to include it.

snow covered cut stoneThis is the spot where topical news outside the Murphy Family is tackled. I was going to put a picture of Steve Jobs and Gil Amelio here, but Jobs infamous reality distortion field apparently extends to corrupting jpeg (picture) files. It is said vampires don't cast a reflection in a mirror because of the silver backing, I wonder if there is anything similar with the silver in film emulsion. Oh well. I am leaving up last issue's picture since it fits in well with the rest of the Online Times and I will content myself with saying I hope the Apple situation all works out, whoever is involved.

And now, in no particular order (except I'm first) we provide our regular columns:

man is it cold out

Kevin's View

   Winter has come to St. Louis. How can you tell? When the temperature has more volatility than the stock market. When not only can you see your breath, but it also turns to snow. When you finally trudge to your car in the afternoon, thank God when it starts, and realize that you will continue to freeze for another 15 minutes until the car warms up and you're not sure you can hold the steering wheel that long without getting frostbite in your hands. Kevin has a coat (aka the Michelin Man coat) that is worn only in the coldest of weather, with a hood (aka Mr. Astronaut) that is worn only one year in five, and he has worn it with the hood this year. This coat is a triumph of substance over style, a testament to buying quality because it lasts, a reminder of earlier times when his mother picked out his clothes, because it is, yes, that old. It is now older than high school seniors, and well on the way to being older than Kevin's coworkers fresh out of college (now that McDonnell is hiring again.) January is a rollercoaster ride here in the heartland -- brief thrills and long waiting. You need to dress, and act, appropriately.

what a beautiful beach

Denise's View

   Now that Christmas is over, Denise has turned her attentions to planning our summer vacation. Without much discussion of alternatives, the family is in complete agreement about going to a warm beach, no make that a hot beach. Maybe if the temperature was more than the kid's ages, we would want to go somewhere else. We have been considering the Florida panhandle and South Carolina, and recently added the Gulf Shores area on the recommendation of friends. A three pronged attack has been mounted: scanning the travel section of the newspaper, canvassing friends, and surfing the net. [It is left as an exercise for the reader to determine who leads each of the three efforts.] Do we want to rent a condo for a week or stay at a hotel? Wouldn't children's programs be nice? Ah, this is the part of the vacation Denise likes best: when all things are possible, there is so much to do, no unpleasant reality intrudes, and when it hasn't cost a cent.

These are not the Fruit of the Murphy Loins

Kid's Korner

   Winter is here. It brought a foot of snow and low, low temperatures marked down in frozen Canada. And, best of all, it brought school closings. Advance warning was provided for a change by the local weather astrologers and we were able to reduce the clutter in the Senior Murphy's household before the snow hit by removing the two sleds that the Fearless Leader and his brother used as lads. We carefully waxed the runners the night before in anticipation of the next day's adventure. Joy of joys, we were rewarded for our good deeds! A weekday with everyone at home and no chores. We played in our PJ's until noon, ate pizza for lunch, and then we went sledding. Best of all, we went right in our own yard, which has a good beginners hill. Since the driveway had 6 inches of snow and half of inch on the bottom, we weren't going anywhere. Our christmas toys forgotten, we rejoiced in sledding, making snowmen, and playing with the neighbor children. And at the end of all that hard work, a delicious hot soak in the tub. What a great day.

Return me to the OMT index, please.

lift and separates

This page is the sole property of the Murphy Family and any unauthorized use of this page will be cause for much regret!
Contents copyright Kevin Murphy 1997. All rights reserved.