Don Surber has a story of a female narcissist who instead of pining away while staring at her own reflection was fired for staring at her own reflection — or reflections in this case.
In honor of the Listless Lawyer who needs some special superglue, I offer this joke:
A man doesn’t know what true happiness is until he gets married – and then it’s too late. It’s a joke people! Or how about this one: A married man should forget his mistakes – his wife will remind him whenever he needs it. OK, I’ll end this with a quote from Mignon McLaughlin before I get in trouble: “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ”
I went backwards up the blogroll, so I read Chris Johnson’s excerpt of Lileks first:
The alternative worldview postulated in “The Da Vinci Code” does not exactly give us anything transcendent and wonderful, friend; the most “sacred ritual” described consists of some old French grandfather, nagoy and panhandled, moaning under some grindy-hipped fleshy woman “with long silver hair,” while observers – yes, observers! – stand around in masks holding orbs, chanting. I met her in the grotto and she sheathed my sword, da doo ron ron, da doo ron ron. This may be why the interminable Latin mass became popular: absolutely zero chance of seeing Granny get it on in front of the bridge club.
And then I found this at J Bowen’s:
Doctors said sexually transmitted diseases among senior citizens are running rampant at a popular Central Florida retirement community, according to a Local 6 News report.
A gynecologist at The Villages community near Orlando, Fla., said she treats more cases of herpes and the human papilloma virus in the retirement community than she did in the city of Miami.
Looks like they picked a bad day to stop going to Mass at the Villages.
Will New Orleans go the way of Atlantis?
Speaking of New Orleans, the Army Corps of Engineers has a mammoth report out on Katrina and surprise, surprise, surprise, concludes that “The hurricane protection in New Orleans and Southeast Louisiana was a system in name only.” Oh really, I hadn’t noticed.
Iran continues to be off in cloud cuckoo land, and I mean more than their negotiating style, I mean their claims of fusion research. Maybe they got their hands on Stanley Pons.
Speaking of disfunctional countries, Brad and Angelina got to seal off a resort in Namibia for the birth of their child. No word from Amnesty International yet on this flagrant offense against human rights.
And speaking of flagrant offenses against human rights, which I would be against except that it’s too funny, you can view the winners of Fark’s photoshop Al Gore’s inconvenient truths contest.
