Since I get so few hits, I’m able to track how each and every visitor got here. My favorites are the seach engine queries. I can answer Kojak’s question, “Who loves ya, baby?” with Google loves me – it’s made over forty percent of the referrals here. 

Somebody asked Google “are frogs nearsighted or farsighted” and came here not just once, but twice. Google obviously confused me with J Bowen who’s the sort to answer that question out of the clear blue. But to answer your question, since I’ve never seen a frog wearing glasses, I’m going to guess neither.

I get a lot of people coming here looking for JLo’s (JayLo, J. Lo) booty – not a day goes by without a hit based on that query. People, she’s got a dancer’s butt – larger and more muscular than the average, but it isn’t near as big as the jokes about it. And why is it always referred to as her booty – not her butt, not her derriere, not her heine, or even bottom (I think I’ve heard backside a couple of times)? And why such fascination with a just a body part, when the real interesting thing is how someone with modest dancing, singing, and acting ability made it so big in all three fields? It’s amazing how far oozing sex appeal and shameless self promotion will take you.

Doug Wilson’s (from Trading Spaces) orientation is another perennial favorite. I have no idea what he finds attractive beyond the color blue and venetian plaster. And I don’t care. I’m of the we’re all sinners school of theology, and as long as he sticks to interior design, I’ll stick with him. A few things have bumped him up in my estimation – I think he designs some pretty neat rooms, even if some are over the top; in a local radio interview I blogged about he made it pretty clear he plays a character on the show (e.g. he isn’t really lazy like he pretends to be); and on the episode at Scott AFB where he did the little boys room by adding half of two real cars, we met some of his good ole boy truck firm family and found out that he comes from a small Illinois town near Champaigne (which isn’t too big itself). Of course, after the kiss with Hildi on the Las Vegas live reveal show, I’d be surprised if he married any time soon.

Then there are the “what were they thinking” inquiries. Needless to say, they didn’t find what they were looking for here. Nobody does. “Picture of sweaty female armpits”: sorry, this isn’t a fetish site. “Nuns in a catfight”: again, this isn’t a fetish site, but the way things are going, you shouldn’t have too much trouble finding “bishops in a catfight.” I could see why google picked me for the ones above as I have something close in my eclectic oeuvre, but “Topless women on holiday” shouldn’t have found me. What’s really intriguing is the “on holiday” part, but sorry fellas, this isn’t a travel site.